The We-Must-Be-Out-of-Our-Tiny-Minds Road Trip
by TRF
Summary: When Authors keep appearing all over the land + DBZ characters appearing in random places=One messed up road trip!
1. Hijacking pink ice cream trucks, well th...

Yes, the road trip is FINALLY HERE!!!  Sorry for stalling you guys ^_^

Heero: It's her specialty.

Juunana: Trust us.  WE KNOW.

Uh…SHUT UP GUYS!  *** **Pushes them away * Uh…dun mind them O.o they're like….not right in the head ^_^'

Juunana: * muffled * _SHE'S _the one that's not right in the head!

Errrr….*runs backstage where crashes and screams are heard *

Duo: Heh…since they're busy I'll do the disclaimer: TRF doesn't own DBZ or the other authors in this fic.  Actually, I wouldn't mind if she did but everyone else says that's cause I'm insane and- *A spray of bullets come towards Duo and someone is heard laughing maniacally * Uh………Bye bye! *runs *

TRF sat at her computer desk.  There was nothing to do.  Nothing.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  I think you get the point.

"There's nothing to dooooooooooo!" she moaned, crashing her head against the computer desk, of course doing this had magical properties but I won't tell if you don't, _'I wish some other authors were here or something.  And I wish Heero was here too.  Then we could have fun like in a messed up fanfic…'_

                                               Poof.  That's right, poof.  Don't look at me like that.

"HEERO YUY!" TRF cried hugging Heero.

Heero glared at her, "Get off me TRF.  I'm not supposed to exist in your world."

"Well you do now…I think."

"Great," muttered Heero sarcastically.  The doorbell then rang (See how these plot conveniences just keep popping up?).

"I'll get it!" TRF cried running upstairs to answer the doorbell.

"I wouldn't have done it anyway," muttered Heero following her so he could use the upstairs TV, which was of, course, bigger then the dinky one downstairs.

TRF opened the door and there stood a girl of about 5'0 tapping her foot impatiently, "Hi!  Uh…do I know you?  You're not some weirdo trying to convert me to a devil-worshipping cult are you?  Because if you are I'm fine with being a Catholic thank-you-very-much."

"Er…no.  Actually-"

"Oh!  You have NO idea how often I get that!  Come in unless you're selling something, in which case GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE!  CAN'T YOU SEE THE DOOR SAYS 'NO SOLICTERS'?!"

The girl looked at the door, "Well, no actually, I DON'T see a 'no solicitors' sign.  But I can make sure there's no misconception!" the girl took out a black marker and wrote "No solicitors" on the door, then smiled happily, "You know…somehow I feel like I know you…"

TRF contemplated how many hours it would take to rub off the marker from the door before answering, "Me too.  Ok, soooo…who are you?" TRF then noticed a monkey standing behind the girl.  Looking as miffed as a monkey could.

"Well, you can just call me Bananagirl, Bana for short.  Or BG.  And this monkey is Quorky!"

TRF looked at her I an astonished way, "No way…who are you really and why did you rob the zoo?  And I'm TRF!"

Bana, in turn looked at HER in an astonished way, "Who are YOU and why did you rob..," Bana looked in the door and saw Heero watching G Gundam with interest, "Gundam Wing!"

Quorky walked in and over to Heero, "We're not supposed to be in the real world," Quorky stated with minimal interest.

"Nope," Heero answered.  They turned to the TV and watched G Gundam.

"Er…are you REALLY Bana?"

"Are you REALLY TRF?"

"Yep"

"Yes"

"Okaaaay, this is stranger than some things that happen in OFUD!" Bana muttered, "Where are we anyway?  I have a suspicion that I'm not in England anymore…."

TRF shook her head, "Nope.  Welcome to Columbus Nebraska!  Boring city extraordinaire!"

"Can't be more boring than where I live."

Just then, the town hick came up to TRF and Bana, "Look at this big snotball I picked from my nose!"

Bana shook her head, "I stand corrected."

TRF nodded, "Everyone does."

They walked inside and glanced at the episode of G Gundam playing, it happened to be "George!  Beat the Nightmare!" but since you guys probably don't care, we'll move on..

"What do we do now?" asked TRF.  She'd seen the episode already.

Bana shrugged and looked out the window, "Let's hijack that pink ice cream truck!"

TRF looked at her strangely, "Why?"

"Because it's really ugly and deserves to be hijacked," Bana answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

TRF shrugged, "I guess."

They went outside and ran up to the truck.

The person inside the truck side, "Ok, what do you want?"

"WE WANT TO HIJACK YOUR TRUCK!" Bana yelled.

The person, or rather woman, inside the truck looked at Bana funny, "No." she answered.

"But…why not?" asked TRF.

"Well first of all-" 

Suddenly somebody around the back screamed and then stuttered out, "Th-there's th-th-thr-three people in the back of this truck!"

"People living in the back of ice cream trucks…weird.  I wanna meet these people!" Bana ran to the back and let out a gasp of surprise upon seeing who the "three people" were, "THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE!"

TRF smiled, "Eh…I'm TRF and that's my friend Bana,

The person stared at her open-mouthed, "You…your…."

TRF beamed, "Have you read our fics?"

"Well…actually I'm J'dee…."

"How is this possible?!  I mean, you both live across seas from me and yet you're here!"

J'dee shrugged, "Let's not dwell on that now.  It's almost as confusing as Chibi Goten being right here," she pointed to Goten who was strapped into the seat next to her.

"Yeah, Heero and Quorky are here too.  But they're inside now watching G Gundam for whatever reason.

J'dee blinked and then looked towards the back, "We should probably go see what everyone's screaming about.  STAY HERE GOTEN!"

Chibi Goten shrugged, "Alright," he looked at his plate of cookies hungrily 

TRF and J'dee went to the back of the truck and saw Juunanagou, Juuhachigou and Juurokugo sitting in there staring at the people screaming.

"Oi," J'dee opened the back of the truck, "I thought I told you guys I didn't take hitchhikers!"

"What would you call Chibi Goten?" asked TRF.

"He just appeared in the truck next to me so he's not REALLY a hitchhiker."

Bana turned around to face TRF and J'dee, "Chibi Goten is here too?  Who next?  Kakarot, his other spawn and harpy mate?"  
  


No one really wanted to answer that.  It'd be a bit _too _strange.  So instead J'dee decided to usher the people away, "Ok, ok!  Nothing to see here!  Those are my…science experiments!  Last year of college!  These things are important you know!"

The people left.  They didn't buy the 'science experiment' thing but decided for normality's sake that they would _pretend _they did.

"Hey Bana," TRF said, "This is J'dee."

Bana looked at her, "Really?!  What's WITH today?!  It's almost like we're in some twisted fanfic!"

"Yeah," TRF responded, "Like _that _would ever happen."

J'dee nodded, "Let's be real here."  They stood in silence glancing at the ground and at one another.

"Sooooo…." J'dee tried to start a conversation since she hated silence.

"Yeeeeeeeep…." said Bana.

"Let's er…go on a road trip!" TRF said quickly.

"Sure,"

"Why not,"

"Ok then, just a second!" TRF ran inside dragging out Heero and Quorky.

"Hey!" cried Bana, "**_I _**want to drag Quorky!"

Well, after more meaningless conversations and small squabbles everyone got settled in the van, ready to go.  TRF also grabbed her DVD player and Anime DVDs figuring her family wouldn't miss them.

"Hey wait a sec!" said TRF running to the back of the unnaturally large van and opening the door that led to the freezer type place, "Juunana get your cute butt out of the freezer!  I wanna sit by you!" she whined.

Heh, how was that?  J'dee, Bana-Sorry if I got you or your muse out of character (Chibi Goten only had one line though…how could I get him out of character?).

If an authors out there want to be in this fic send me this information either in a review or by my e-mail: anime_girl_17@hotmail.com it's a lot but keep in mind I worry about getting people of character and I'll have fun with these:

Name: 

Age:

Height:

Country of Residence:

What do you think of restrooms in gas stations:

Do you like animals?  If so what are your favorite kinds?:

What annoys you most?:

Favorite DBZ Character(s)?:

Least favorite DBZ character(s)?:

Do You Have a Muse who'll acompany you?:

Does your muse talk?:

Do you like big pink ice cream trucks?:

What's your favorite kind of ice cream?:

What you're opnion on bugs?:

If you saw your favorite char. what would you do?: 

What other anime do you like besides DBZ?: 

Any anime you can't stand?: 

Do you anger easily?: 

Hobbies/Obsessions: 

Personality: 

Nicknames:

Ok!  See ya later! 


	2. THE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM IS MINE!

Yep, I have already become obsessed with writing this ^_^ And besides, it's the weekend!  Ya NEED to update on WEEKENDS!  I also just feel like being nice, oh and if you asked to be in it you may not be in it right in this chapter if I didn't get the submission form soon enough, but don't worry! You'll be in the next one!

Heero: Ok, get to the fic now.

NO!  I actually have something that's not totally useless to say!

people: * gasp, faint *

* sweatdrop * Er…

J'dee-Jazz will make an appearance don't worry!  I haven't forgotten! Bananagirl-You'll have to wait about….* estimates * 2-3 chapters before we get to the first official destination and meet Skittles ^_^ 

And thank you to RJ and anyone who's review I haven't yet seen for reviewing!  You'll be in this chapter, RJ ^_^ 

Heero: NOW can you get on with it?  
  


* sigh * I guess…

~*~*~

30 miles out of town…they were 30 miles out of town and already having problems.

"I'm hungry!" Goten whined and looked at J'dee pitifully, "I ate the cookies already."

"Well…ummm…there's some ice cream in the back," J'dee said, trying to keep her eyes on the road at the same time.  No need to crash and have the police find out she actually didn't have a license even if she was old enough.  That **WOULD NOT **be good.

"Yeah!  Eat some ice cream and don't make us stop!  Stupid spawn of Kakarot," Bana muttered, if we zoom out the scene a little, we'd see about 30 chocolate ice cream tubs around her and we'd also see the one she was eating right now.

"Ok," Goten answered, then blinked, "I want some chocolate!"

Bana got a possessed look in her eyes, "YOU CAN'T HAVE THE CHOCOLATE!  IT'S _ALL _MINE I TELL YOU!"

Quorky shook his head and went back to looking at the pictures of Bulma he'd confiscated from Heero earlier (A.N. Heero has pictures of Bulma?  Should we be scared?), "Share the ice cream and spare us all from the screaming," he said without looking up.

"NEVER!" shouted Bana, "I'LL NEVER GIVE THE ICE CREAM TO ANYONE!" she didn't notice, however that TRF who was behind her was scooping ice cream out of her bucket and putting it into her (TRF's) bowl.

Juunana's attention was outside, at a Porsche that seemed to have followed them this whole way.  The strange thing?  There was no driver, "Now that's one kickass car," he muttered. 

Heero was softly cursing the fact that his Bulma pictures had disappeared and were nowhere to be found…too bad he didn't check with Quorky, "I'll just have to settle for the next best thing," Heero murmured, then, making sure no one was watching him, he took out and album of photos of Relena and crept closer to the back so he could look at them without being ridiculed.

"I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it!" Goten whined.

"Goten!" cried J'dee, "get back in the seat and buckle up!  I can't get pulled over!"

Bana sneered at him, "Yeah _Goten_!" she then preceded to stick out her tongue at the little boy.

"What's in it for me if I do what you ask?" asked Goten giving an almost eerie Vegeta-like smirk.

J'dee sighed, "Well stop for food ok?"

"Alright!" Goten chirped happily strapping himself in.

Bana's mouth dropped open, "TRF, did Goten just smirk like S-hey!" Bana glared at TRF who she'd caught sneaking ice cream away from her.

TRF smiled weakly, "Uh…yep!  That smirk Goten gave sure was creepy wasn't it?"

"I can't believe it!" Bana ranted, "you of all people!"

"She's been doing it for the last 30 minutes," said Quorky in a bored tone.

TRF had a sudden urge to relocate herself somewhere else in the van.

"Ok!  So where should we stop?" J'dee asked, they passed Mc Donald's, Burger King and various other places but Goten didn't see any he liked, finally they came to the outskirts of town where a small building that was _once _painted white but now had a dust brown color to it stood.

"That thing should be condemned," TRF remarked, trying to get the attention off herself and her ice cream stealing tactics.

"I wanna stop there!" Goten said pointing to the building.

J'dee looked at it in disgust, "I don't think that even a restaurant, Goten," she told him pretending to sound disappointed, _'But even if it was I wouldn't stop if I were being attacked by rabid wolves and the building was my only salvation.  No way no how…unless Yamcha was in it…then I would stop…Yamcha…Mmmmmm……' _unfortunately, due to the fact that J'dee's mind was now located in a world where Yamcha and she were married and they owned this nice little house by the sea the van pulled over and was headed for the building.

"This reminds me of when I crashed into the lamp post!" Bana said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WE'LL ALL DIE!" TRF screamed.

Heero regretfully abandoned his pictures of Relena to stop the van from crashing since he was the only one able now, being as Juunana was still watching the white Porsche from out his window and Quorky was trying to shield himself from the oncoming impact with some familiar looking pictures… Heero shrugged it off and  pulled the van to the side just in time to stop it from crashing into the building.

J'dee came back to reality, "Uh-oh," she said glancing at the building which they were right up against, "I spaced out didn't I?"

"What was your first clue?" asked Heero sarcastically.

"And Heero Yuy saved me!" J'dee's eyes formed anime hearts as she thought on this.

"Me too!" TRF squealed.

"I wish Skittles had saved me," Bana remarked glumly.  She was hoping that any minute now Vegeta would appear and she could finally meet him…and them of course they'd dump Bulma somewhere and run off together.  This was _every _decent Skittles' fan girl's dream of course.

"I wanna eat!" Goten unbuckled and ran into the restaurant and then screamed, "BROTHER!" loud enough for all to hear.

"Kakarot's first spawn is somewhere around here now too?  Where's my Skittles?!" Bana demanded.

"If he were here I'd be clinging to him…" responded TRF.

Heero sighed, "Let's just go in."

"In a second," Juunana mumbled walking out of the van and over to the Porsche, he was quite surprised when it transformed into a giant robot.

"Jazz!" J'dee cried happily.

~*~

Inside…

"….and that's what happened," a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes finished telling them, she was clinging to Gohan, who was indeed here.

"Uh…can you let me go now Ms.?" asked Gohan.

The girl smiled cheerfully, "Nope!  Oh yeah, and you don't need to call me 'ms.' my name is Reez!"

"Um…ok Reez…please let me go now," Gohan said sweatdropping

"Why would you like Kakarot's first brat anyway?" muttered Bana, "Skittles is much better looking."

"Oddly enough," TRF started, "not everyone is as reasonable as us when it comes to hot guys."

"If they were then there wouldn't be shrines to that baka Kakarot."

Then the man who worked at the restaurant came up, he was large, fat and smelled of poo, everyone looked up in time to see a fly fall dead at his feet," Whaddya wanna or'dr?" he asked.  Everyone continued staring, "I SAY, WHADDYA WANNA OR'DR?!" he shouted.

"A glass of water," J'dee replied, being the first to bravely speak up.

"I'll take a grilled cheese!" said Reez.

"We ain't got none of that fancy stuff" the man replied.

"Uh…I'll have fifty bananas for me and fifty for the monkey," Bana said pointing to herself and Quorky.

"We ain't got none'uh those neither," the man told her.

"What do you have?" Gohan asked.

"We got mac'n cheese," the man was staring impatiently at everyone now.

"Anything else?" asked TRF.

"Nope, we just got mac'n cheese."

"Nothing for me," muttered Heero.

"I'll get the mac'n cheese!" chirped Goten.

"Can you put bananas in the mac'n cheese?" asked Bana, ignoring the disgusted look Quorky was giving her.

"NO!  WE AINT GOT NO NANERS!!" the man screamed.

"Fine, fine," Bana scooted her chair back a few steps, _'I don't even think I wanna know how high the stick up that guy's ass is,' _thought Bana.

The guy left and came back with J'dee's water and Goten's "mac'n cheese".

"Ew," muttered J'dee shaking her head at the dead flies inside her glass, _'And here we see the latest victims of his body stench,' _J'dee mused silently.

~*~*~*~

Well, looks like we're making a pit stop sooner than expected!  But don't worry-we'll get back on course soon!

Heero: And things will probably get worse.

…….erm…………* innocent face * Why do you say that Heero?

Heero: * Shakes head* Never mind.  It's not like you ever do this amazing thing called listening to me anyway.

Huh?  What did you say Heero? 

Heero: -_-'

Once again-sorry if I got anyone out of character, if I did just tell me so and I'll correct it!  You won't hurt my feelings or anything.  That's the main thing I'm trying to avoid: Out of character-ness.

Heero: In that case you've got me wrong; I would have killed you by now.

* Smile* Suuuuuure ya would Hee-chan!


	3. Quorky isn't allowed to have Bulma Manga

Hello…I am just now writing author notes, AFTER I finished the chapter!  Sorry for the wait…I guess all I can say is "BEHOLD THE IMAGE OF LAZINESS!  IT IS I, TRF!" *People 'ooh' and 'ah' taking out their cameras to snap pictures of TRF-amazingly lazy gal extraordinaire*

Heero: *To a misc. guy* No, you CANNOT take her for your freak show!

Anywho, if I didn't get your request to be in it by the time I actually started this chapter you won't be in it until the next one, oh and, please don't give me submissions to be in it in your reviews or by e-mail after this chapter, wait until the next one so I can get to people who asked first in it.

Jessie: That's all you have to say!  Get on with it!  *Takes out mallet*

George: Yes, I believe if you cannot even properly apologize to your readers that you may as well not drag this out with meaningless things.

*Sigh* Sometimes I wish it was back to just me, Hee-man and Juunana…at least those two don't dare question what I say or do…

James: Well, you knew what would happen when you hired Jess and I.

I guess *sniff* I just wanted Support Staffers and now they're bossing me around! *Runs out of the room sobbing*

Heero: *sarcastically* Great going newbies.

Chibodee: Well, she'll have to come back eventually!  A few reviews *hint, hint* should get her out of her room.

Heero: We'll all drown in tears before that happens.  *As Heero says this, a wall of tears breaks down the door and everyone starts to drift away, they stay long enough for Heero to hold up a sign say 'TRF doesn't own any anime or any authors mentioned or featured here'*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

      Well, soon after J'dee, TRF, Bana, RJ and their respective muses/prisoners had left the restaurant to get on the road they heard a report about a big, fat, ugly restaurant owner getting put in jail by the health department for the general state of the place.

"What a coincidence, wonder how that happened" J'dee mused thoughtfully.

    RJ held up a cell phone and started playing with it slightly while murmuring to herself about closing down all the bad restaurants.

    J'dee wasn't driving anymore, Heero had deemed it not safe so he'd taken over, instead J'dee was busily sketching the scene in the restaurant because police apparently needed 'evidence' before they could keep the man in custody, she'd also occasionally glance over at Gohan, giving one the impression that the horrid restaurant wasn't ALL she was sketching.

   Bana was asleep, but every so often she mumbled 'Skiiiiiiiiiiittles', 'Die you blue haired witch-bitch!  You took my Skittles from me!' or 'I'm going to kill the author if we don't meet up with Skittles soon' which left the uninformed reader wondering who the hell 'Skittles' was.  Well, for those of you who don't know Skittles is:

A brand of candy Vegeta My oh-so-cute kitty Something else that we don't know about that'll never matter in a million years 

      Juunana was trying to avoid TRF, who, in her Heero-deprived (Heero was way up at the front of the van driving remember?) state of mind was clinging to Juunana telling him about how she met Heero, what they'd worked together on and other things Juunana really wasn't interested in.  Then every few minutes she screamed, "HEERO!  WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!" and Heero would answer, "Because I'm DRIVING baka!"

   Quorky was contently reading Bulma manga, satisfied that Bana was asleep so he could get away with it.  The monkey hoped she slept this well throughout the entire trip, it meant lots of reading time for him.

   Well, perfect peace in the car couldn't last long, as a boy ran out in front of the car, chasing some guy.

"KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the boy yelled, seemingly oblivious to the oncoming ice cream van (I couldn't resist putting this, S'rac!)

As Heero skidded the car to a stop he muttered darkly about Relena having more relatives who screeched like her, pointing his gun threateningly in the boy's general direction.

"HEERO!" yelled TRF and J'dee at the same time.

"Whaa?" muttered Bana blinking her eyes sleepily, she then eyed Quorky, Bulma manga in hand, "QUORKY!  WHAT HAVE I SAID TO YOU 10,000 TIMES ABOUT BUL-BUL-BULM-….THAT BLUE-HAIRED THING!"

Quorky sighed in resignation reciting what Bana had told him about Bulma, looking a bit sadly as she got out of the van, started a fire and began to burn the manga.

Meanwhile J'dee, TRF, RJ, Goten and Gohan had gone to see if the boy and the guy were all right.

"Of course!  I am Tatewaki Kuno, nothing could harm me!" the older guy announced boldly.

"I'm S'rac," the other offered weakly from the ground, "I'll be fine…Ouch!" he moaned as J'dee, RJ and TRF looked him over, accidentally stepping on him a bit.

"S'rac?!" asked J'dee, wide-eyed.

"Yep," he said.

"Weird, that's TRF, that RJ, I'm J'dee and those two of course are Goten and Gohan."

"So are you feeling ok?" asked RJ with a cheery smile.

"I'll be fine…once I get over the shock of Gohan, Goten and Kuno being here…"

"Don't forget Heero, Juunanagou, Juuhachigou and Juurokugo!" TRF chirped.

"WHAT?!" S'rac jumped up looking very startled, then he looked over at Bana who was now screaming "BURN DEVIL WOMAN, BURN!!  I AM SKITTLES' ONE TRUE MATE!!!" and laughing maniacally as she burned the Bulma manga, "And who's that, the tooth fairy with an identity crisis?!" S'rac demanded.

"Nope, that lady is just Bana," said Goten with a bright smile, then he frowned a bit, "She doesn't like me or brother though…"

"How can she not like Gohan?" ask RJ, who then started to cling onto the poor teenage demi-saiyan who tried to back away.

"Veggie fanatic," J'dee answered instantly.

Kuno glared, tired of being ignored, "Why are these people not obsessed with the great Tatewaki Kuno?"

"I'M obsessed with you Kuno!" S'rac ran over and tried to grab him once more.

"Not you!" Kuno yelled pushing S'rac away repeatedly.

   Well, later as everyone sat snuggly in the car, and were almost upon their first destination (Where Vegeta is….^_^)

On the passenger side of the car, Gohan saw two girls and a cat waving SOS signs and trying to get them to pull over, "Hey..eh…Heero, right?  I think we should stop and see what they want."

"Why are Kitami and Juunanaz Gurl/ Alexandra (Please tell me what you'd like to be called ^^) together?" asked J'dee.

"Weird…" muttered Bana, who was now in the way back of the van performing a 'Skittles come to me' ritual.

"Yeah, they don't even know each other right?" said RJ.

"Stranger things have happened…I guess," S'rac concluded while trying to move himself closer to Kuno.

"Hey!" cried TRF defensively, "I'm running out of ideas for this chapter!  Lemme 'lone!"

   Well, later they found of the girls were Kitami and Juunanaz Gurl, and the two decided to accompany them on what had now become more of a 'see if we can find all the DBZ characters' search than a road trip, but who cares?  

  Juunanagou was terror-stricken because now he had two obsessive fangirls on each side of him and Bana found a new friend…Perry, Puar's 2nd cousin twice removed who enjoyed talking about Vegeta's hair, Kitami was staring at Gohan…just staring, and it was freaking the demi-saiyan out!  So as you see, they were all a happy little car family as they came upon the first official destination: The Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mwhahahaha…I sped it up a bit, so yes, we will meet Veggie, Trunks and a few others in the next chapter!  Let's just hope the zoo people don't try to put Quorky in a cage o.O


	4. Hi, I'm DA, The Second Time Through

*A pile of homework is seen, no movement appears to be coming from it, but suddenly, a very tired, worn-out looking TRF emerges from it, then she is hit on the head by a 50-pound anvil that says "WRITER'S BLOCK" on it, she pulls her way out from under it, then as she runs toward the readers, arms stretched open wide, papers labeled "Essays and Reports" flog her, finally, she gets to the readers and pants excessively* 

TRF: Well, in case you'd like to know, THAT'S *points up at what she wrote above* where I've been in the last months.  And it isn't pleasant, let me tell you!

Heero: You think THAT'S something to whine about?

TRF: *Glares stubbornly* YES I DO!  I-it was horrible!  *Sobs*

Heero: Riiiiiiight…*pulls a screen down over them and the chapter begins*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    When we last left our little band of escapees from the insane asylum-er, 'scuse me, wonderful authors from the pit of Hell, they had arrived at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo…but they were having some problems getting in.

"What do you mean we can't get in because our ice cream van has been classified a 'missing vehicle'?" J'dee demanded, "Maybe you've just got the wrong car!"

"It's got the same license plate, Ms." answered the teen standing by the cash register in a bored manner, as this was the 18th time J'dee had claimed they had the wrong car, "Ask again and when I call the police I'm telling them about you AND the van."

"But my Skittles senses are tingling!" whined Bana desperately, "He's in there!  I MUST go!"

"And my weirdo senses are tingling," mumbled the teen absentmindedly, "bet you can't guess why," he grumbled, giving them a meaningful look.

"If we ask real nicely will you let us in?" RJ questioned, sounding like my seven-year old sister when she asked mom if we could open Christmas presents early.

"Let me think about it…NO!" Growled the teen, his job description had never said anything about this!

Just then, a girl about 14 walked up with Piccolo at her side, "Two tickets please," she said walking up to the teen at the counter.

He brightened up considerably, "Oh!  You must be the one bringing that rare new species in!  You don't need a ticket!"

"Rare…new…species?" she questioned.

"Yeah…" he motioned towards Piccolo.

The girl suddenly grinned, "Ooooh!!  Rare species!  Oh course, silly me!" she began to walk in, despite the degraded look Piccolo gave her.

"We're with her!" S'rac blurted out suddenly.

"Is it true Ms.?" the teen asked the girl before she could get in.

"I've never met these people in my entire-GOTEN!  GOHAN!  THE ANDROIDS!  HEERO!" She screamed, "Er…yes!  I DO know these people!"

The teen grumbled, as he was looking forward to throwing them in jail, "Proceed then."

As Bana walked through she gave him a smirk, "Cheer up bastard!  I've got a monkey!" she proclaimed holding up Quorky for him to see.  A few tourists in back made "oooh" noises and took pictures of Quorky.

"I feel so loved," sniffed Quorky happily.  Upon seeing that the "cute monkey" could talk as well, the tourists made "aaah" noises and took more pictures.

~*~*~

Inside…

"So your name is Reikon, huh?" TRF asked the girl as they sat down at a fountain near the entrance of the zoo waiting for the tourists to stop taking Quorky's picture.

"Yep," she said nodding, "and you're…she counted off everyone: TRF, J'dee, RJ, Kitami, Alexandra, S'rac, and of course your respective muses and DBZ characters who need no introduction.  Oh, and the one with the monkey is Bananagirl."

"Yep, pretty much," replied Alexandra, trying to give a Juunanagou a kiss, but for reasons "unknown" the too-hot-for-words android kept refusing them, "you could also call me Juunanaz Girl!"

"But you're NOT my girl!" protested Juunana.

"He just likes to think that," murmured TRF, "we are ALL Juunana's girls…" she said trying to snuggle up closer to him.

Juunana eyed her warily, "You're making me seem like a pimp," growled warningly, "I don't like to be thought of as a pimp…"

J'dee gaped, "You're NOT?  So that's why you got so mad in the van when Kuno tried to suggest that you, TRF, and Alexandra go have-"

Juunana put his hands to his ears, "I try to forget, thank-you-very-much."

Juuhachigou nodded, "We androids aren't sex machines."

"We're not?" asked Juurokugo.

……

……

……

"How disturbing," S'rac mumbled, being the first to get over the bad mental images that came with the large android's statement.  Of course, by this time Bana had finally gotten back and asked what everyone was doing just staring into space with utterly horrified expressions on their faces.

"What's disturbing?" asked Bana curiously.

"You don't wanna know…you just don't wanna know," J'dee responded with a slight shiver.

"I don't know why I even agreed to come with you," Piccolo muttered looking down at Reikon, "now I am going to be permanently damaged."

"I agree with piccolo," said Gohan weakly.

"T-tatewaki Kuno sh-shall not be ruled by such disturbing things!  Be gone demons!" Kuno screamed whacking himself in the head, then passing out.

"Poor Kuno!" cried S'rac reaching back to catch the fallen anime character before he fell into the fountain.

~*~*~

  Later, everyone had decided to walk through the Aquarium because Bana insisted that "her Skittles senses tingled the strongest around that area".

"I can't believe we're going to get Vegeta-" muttered Reikon.

" I know!" cried Bana happily, hearts forming in her eyes.

Reikon groaned, "I don't know about you, but I can't believe we're going to get Vegeta because he's so completely GAY!"

Bana gasped, her happy world shattering around her, "HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREAT SKITTLELY ONE!" she shrieked jumping on top of Reikon and trying to pound her, "AND I'LL BET YOU'RE A KAKA-BAKA FAN AREN'T YOU?!  AREN'T YOU?!"

"I'm a Piccolo fan…" Reikon managed out.

Heero rolled his eyes, went over to the two of them and pulled Bana off Reikon, "Why don't you go say high?  Vegeta's right over there," he said pointing off to the left where Vegeta, Chibi and Mirai Trunks, Bulma, Krillen, Marron, and Yamcha were.

"How could I have missed it?!" she shouted and ran over to Vegeta, promptly beginning to stroke his spandex.

"Who the HELL are you!?" snapped Vegeta.

Bana grinned maniacally, "You're REAL mate of course!  Dump that blue haired bitch Skittles!  I've been waiting for you my entire life!" she finished dramatically.

Meanwhile, Kitami and RJ where arguing over who owned the rights to Gohan, J'dee had been arguing with them, but suddenly she'd seen Yamcha and instead of responding with another clever retort her eyes glazed over and she sighed romantically saying "Gohan who?" before stumbling closer to Yamcha.

"He's MINE!" Kitami snapped sharply.

"I found him first!" RJ argued.

"But he loves me more!  We should take who he loves more into account, not who found him first!  And besides, I found him first in MY HEART!  So nyah!"

"Well if you wanna play that way, he must be mine because her certainly loves me more!  Plus, how would YOU know which one of us found him first in her heart?"

"Uh…I'm willing to write shameless Mary-Sues for him!"

"So am I!  What fangirl isn't?"

"Good point.  I'm willing to throw myself off a cliff to prove he'd catch me!"

"I will too!"

"Where should we do it?"

"How about on top of the Desert Dome?  We'll just SEE who he catches!"

"Fine then!" With that final word from Kitami, they trotted off to find a way to climb on top of the Desert Dome to see who Gohan would catch.  Luckily too, since another girl happened to be skipping merrily by, an ice cream cone in hand.  Her name was DA and she was a crazed Vegeta fan.

"Are you sure you don't want me to massage your feet?" Bana asked Vegeta for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes.

"I could massage your back while she does it!  Then it would be really relaxing!" TRF told the Saiyan prince, nodding vigorously.

"I told you already!  NO!  What part of that do you not understand?" Vegeta growled furiously.

"Um…the 'no' part?" asked Bana.

"That word doesn't seem to be part of her vocabulary concerning you," Quorky said, somewhat apologetically before he started to stare at Bulma.

Vegeta smacked his forehead and rolled his eyes, cursing quietly, "Oh fine, just don't take too long!"

"Yay!" screamed TRF and Bana at the same time as they began to massage Vegeta , the Saiyan prince gritted his teeth to keep himself from enjoying it too much.

Just then, DA gasped, her palms began to sweat and she dropped her ice cream cone on a three-year-old near her, but that didn't seem to matter…Vegeta was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!  _'Who says zoos suck?' _she sighed to herself as she unconsciously ran in front of Vegeta, silently envying the two girls massaging him, "Hi, I'm DA," she told him blushing furiously.

"I am the Prince of All Saiyans and you are not worthy…though, neither are they," he said ushering towards TRF and Bana who ignored it and went on enjoying the moment.

"Hi, I'm DA," she said again.

He raised an eyebrow, "You've made that clear already."

"Hi, I'm DA," she told him again, this time in a dreamier tone.

"You said that already."

"Hi, I'm DA."

"Hi, I'd like to blast you into a million pieces," grumbled Vegeta through gritted teeth.

"Hi, I'm DA."

"That's IT!" shouted Vegeta, shaking off Bana and TRF and sending a blast at DA, she dodged and the blast hit the side of the aquarium instead, causing water and sea creatures to begin gushing out of the open hole.

"SHIT!" Screamed J'dee, echoing everyone's thoughts.

~*~*~

Later…

On the outside of the aquarium, crowd of sopping wet people emerged , they all appeared to be fine, except DA who was doing nothing more than gurgling incoherently.  Vegeta got down and, with Bulma's prompting, began to perform CPR, with what looked like no success.

"She's dead!" squealed Bana, "How could we have killed her?  She was so young too!"

Suddenly, she began to cough, Vegeta looked over at her, she opened one eye, coughed more then, "DA, I'm hi…" she said brokenly.

Vegeta groaned, "The baka girl is all right," he said to everyone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hey everyone, sorry that updating took so long!  School's a real bugger, ya know?  But I WILL make an effort to update every now and then, I didn't mean to make y'all wait this long.  Oh, and thanks to Bananagirl's OFUD for the inspiration on the "Hi, I'm DA" thing.  Couldn't have done it without ya!  Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa everyone!

Until next time,

~*TRF*~


	5. Free the Goats! No, wait they're a bit ...

Hey everyone!  As I type this, it's been five hours since I typed the last chapter.  So no matter when I get it up, I think I deserve a miniscule amount of praise for trying!

Heero: *Rolls his eyes* Not really.  It doesn't make up for the lost months.  You can never take that back, TRF.

Well…so…so…so what?  I'm trying!

Heero: When it comes down to you, trying will never be enough.

*Steals Chi-Chi's frying pan and whacks Heero with it* WHAT have I taught you about criticizing me slave muse boy?!

Heero: *holding the bump on his head* That it's a very bad idea?  
  


Exactly!  Now on to the chapter before I loose the will to write!  On a side note, this will be the last chapter that you can submit requests to be in the fic for a while.

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    After DA had managed to get herself up off the ground and stopped saying "Hi, I'm DA" to Vegeta the group continued on their way, determined not to draw attention to themselves.

"Excuse me," asked one employee walking up to them, "would you happen to know what happened at the Aquarium?"

J'dee gulped in a panicked way, "Aquarium?  Know anything about it?  Us?  Nooooooo, of course not!"

The employee surveyed them, "But you're all wet…"

"We were just in the gardens and got wet in the sprinklers!" TRF responded quickly.

They were eyed suspiciously by the employee, "We haven't put the sprinklers on yet," he said with an obvious tone of 'I-don't-believe-you' in his voice.

"FINE!" cried S'rac getting down on his knees, "We saw it happen!  We just managed to get out with our lives!  We don't want to talk about it because WE'RE SO COMPLETELY TRAUMATIZED!" he sobbed.

"I-I'm sorry," the employee responded, not knowing quite what to say, "Did you happen to see who did it?" S'rac let out another mangled sob, still pretending to be traumatized.

"Weeell…" Bana began, "he had wild, red, evil eyes…"

"And…" DA continued, "long, pink loosely braided hair."

"He was wearing a white toga with sandals!  Like he'd just robbed a costume store!" J'dee went on.

"He had club with him!  That's what he used to break the glass!" TRF told the employee.

"And fangs!  Don't forget his inch-long fangs!" Reikon exclaimed.

"Plus the saliva dripping from his mouth!" Alexandra said nodding her head vigorously.

"….I see…" muttered the employee, "So in other words, some escapee from an insane asylum."

"Y-yes," S'rac managed through his fake sobs.

"That has been very helpful, thank you," said the employee taking off.

J'dee sighed, "He was pretty cute looking all confused and suspicious…but not as cute as Yamcha of course!" she squealed giving him a full-body hug.

"Hey," said Gohan, suddenly looking up, "where are Kitami and RJ?"

"Missing your insane obsessed fans already Kaka-baka spawn one?" Vegeta asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"No…it's just that…I feel as though something horrible is about to happen to them." the demi-saiyan responded.

"What sort of horrible thing?" Inquired Mirai Trunks.

"Who cares?" snorted one of DA's muses, Inu-Yasha.

"They're my-sorta-friends, I think!" DA retorted, "Sit boy!" she commanded sharply, causing Inu-Yasha to plunge to the ground.

"Damn stupid girl," whined Inu-Yasha.

"Ah get up," responded DA's other muse, Familiar, "it doesn't hurt you that much."

"You try being in my position," mumbled Inu-Yasha.

Suddenly, a crowd of people stampeded past them, all headed towards the Desert Dome.

"Hey!" Bana cried, pulling one girl away from the crowd, "What's going on?"

"Don't you know?" the girl asked, then she saw Vegeta, "I-it's Vegeta!  It's really VEGETA!" she screamed.

"Who are you?" Reikon asked.

"I'm T-Sama!" she said automatically.

"Wonderful," grumbled Bana, not exactly keen on the possibility of more competition for HER Skittles, "now what's going on over there?"

"Well," said T-Sama, "These two girls are about to jump from the Desert Dome and the weirdest thing is-they're arguing about who Gohan is going to catch!"

Gohan groaned, "Not them…guess I have to go get both of them."

"You'll do nothing of the sort, Gohan!" shouted Chi-Chi, who had mysteriously just arrived with Goku, Yajirobe, and the mushroom headed guys from the other world tournament in tow, "We will leave that up to Yajirobe and the mushroom guy!"

"But why?" asked Reikon.

"Because these are two of those girls' least favorite characters!  That'll teach them!" Chi-Chi cried laughing evilly, "Go now men!" she shrilly commanded.  The two took off towards the now-descending girls and rescued them.

~*~*~

    After that whole thing had been sorted out and Kitami and RJ had been whacked by Chi-Chi's Frying Pan of Terror and Doom™ everyone walked towards the petting zoo because there was a place that sold ice cream near it.

"Really?" asked T-Sama, "Trunks's Real Fan?"

"NO!" screeched TRF, "I mean sure, that's what it stood for in "Do It Yourself" but that was just for the convenience of keeping my name!  I was once a Trunks fan, it is true, but my name has always stood for just ONE THING!  Do you all know what that one thing is?!" she ranted, met with blank-eyed stares she continued on, "IT STANDS FOR TEAM ROCKET FAN!!!  FOOLS!!!  INCOMPHETANTS!!  BAKAS!"

"You could've just told us earlier," commented J'dee.

"BUT YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER LISTENED!" she sighed dramatically, "NOBODY EVER LISTENS TO ME!"

Alexandra glanced over at TRF, "I'm sorry, did you just say something?"

"SEE?!  SEE HOW RIGHT I AM?!" TRF whined.

"I can't hear you, speak up a little," Heero said with a sly smirk on his face.

"Team Rocket?  As in Pokemon Team Rocket?" asked RJ, nose wrinkled in disgust, "Why would you be THEIR fan?'

"Because I am!  James was my first anime obsession!  Do you even know how remotely important a first anime obsession is?  I can't just dump my first anime obsession!  It would not be even remotely right!" TRF ranted, "In fact, I wish that they'd be here right now just so you could see why they're so completely lovable!" But alas, as TRF had awakened magical properties earlier by banging her head against her computer desk, Team Rocket turned up on the spot, but not just Jessie, James and Meowth.  Since TRF hadn't specified which TR members she wanted Butch, Cassidy, Mondo, Domino, Giovanni, Zanna, Rion, Bashou, Buson, Vicious, and Professor Nanaba appeared as well.

"Dude!  Now look what you did!  But the blue-haired one does have a pretty cute butt…nothing to rival Skittles's of course, but a nice butt nonetheless," Bana commented.

At this James began to blush a bit, before Jessie whacked him on the head with her paper fan.

"No, no…" grumbled RJ, wanting to cling on to Gohan but not daring to because of Chi-Chi's ever-watchful eyes.

James and Inu-Yasha suddenly eyed each other, shifting, not sure exactly how to act around each other, James seemed moderately scared and Inu-Yasha seemed moderately angered by whatever he was thinking of that had James in it.

"What's with them?" asked J'dee.

"They've been acting that way towards each other since I began my newest work-and Inu-Yasha/Pokemon cross-over that I like to call "Brave Hearts in a Twisted Universe"."

"Crossover with Pokemon?  EVIL!" Screeched RJ loudly enough for people to begin staring at them.  An ordinary woman walked up to them and patted RJ on the shoulder.

"Now, now dear, I'm sure whatever it is can't be that bad," she assured.

"But it is!  Oh but it is!" RJ sobbed.

"In most ways I'm inclined to agree!" Bana…er…agreed.

"You're supposed to support me!" wailed TRF, "I know you don't like the show but that doesn't mean you have go and strike out against a friend who likes it!" TRF ran over to the petting zoo's goat pen and opened it widely so all the goats could escape, "Get them my pretties!" she cackled.

"You think goats are pretty?" asked S'rac in a moderately disturbed tone of voice.

"I think it was just sarcasm.  She's trying to be the wicked witch of whoever from the Wizard of OZ," J'dee responded.

"Wicked witch of whoever?  I thought it was the Wicked Witch of the West?" asked Alexandra is a slightly puzzled tone.

"Wow!" cried T-Sama, "I've always wanted to ride a rampaging goat!" she squealed, then ran over to one of the larger ones and jumped on top of it, "Geddyup goatie!"

The woman who has previously been comforting RJ was starting to regret that decision now, as there were goats surrounding her, hysterical teens of either side of her, and a bunch of people who looked rather…animated, or two-dimensional was it?

DA looked around and pretended to give a frightened yelp, "Oh Skittles-Sama!" she cried, "PROTECT ME!" she yelled jumping onto his right side.

Reikon smiled upon seeing DA's actions, "Oh Piccolo-Sama!" she started, "Pro-"

"No," Piccolo stated blatantly, "do I really appear that stupid to you average humans?"

"Not really.  We just have really strange fantasies that lead us to have high, high hope," Reikon stated.

"How comforting," grumbled Piccolo sarcastically, because of that a green liquid began to drip off of him.

Reikon gasped, "Is something wrong Piccolo?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong with him," J'dee assured Reikon, "he's just dripping sarcasm.  I've seen it before," she added knowledgably.

"Great, I'm dripping sarcasm," Piccolo muttered, then realized he'd just been sarcastic once again by the seemingly gleeful way the liquids pouring from him sped up.

Bana, upon spotting DA clinging to Vegeta gave a large gasp and ran through the crowd of goats and screaming people before she climbed onto Vegeta's left side (Quorky with her) and gave him her widest, most sincere smile.  He, not surprisingly, scowled in return and decided to take to the air before another fan could jump him.

"Vegeta!" screeched Bulma, "Come down here and help me before you help those…things-er, girls-or whatever they prefer to be called!"

"Don't do it!" whispered Bana.

"She's trying to seduce you to the dark side!" DA added.

Vegeta rolled his eyes at this and helped Bulma up, giving her a special spot on his shoulder.

"That isn't fair Skittles!" Bana protested.

"I could shake you off right now," Vegeta remarked idly.

"Uh…" DA looked down to see Bashou from Team Rocket being butted 10 feet in the air by a foaming ram, "that's ok."

Inu-Yasha slashed a few goats through with his Tetsuiga and looked at them hungrily, "I'm gonna have real dinner tonight."

DA gasped, "You hurt those innocent goats?!  SIT BOY!" and Inu-Yasha went plummeting into the ground.

"Worry not fellow adventurers, we're in luck," TRF reported to J'dee, S'rac, Heero, and the Rocketeers who happened to the closest to her (Including Bashou and his extremely sore bottom), "Juunana express is flying today!" she squealed in typical fangirl fashion climbing onto Juunanagou's shoulder much to his disdain.

"So is Yammie," J'dee reported glomping Yamcha in another action typical of fangirls.

"Can you fly, Kuno?" S'rac asked.

Kuno looked at him as though he were insane, "If I had been able to don't you think I would have used it to my advantage to beat Ranma?"

"Good point," S'rac admitted gloomily, "but I bet you can jump pretty high, right?"

"Obviously, the great Tatewaki Kuno can jump high," Kuno responded sounding, albeit, a bit insulted.

"Then…could you jump us to a place out of the reach of goats?"

"If you have not noticed like I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, have we are surrounded for half a mile or so.  Besides, I'm supposed to be the comical relief for now so I cannot get out of situations easily."

"Another good point," S'rac mumbled, "could you murder the author and take over?" he asked perkily.

"No, alas, then the author's ghost would come back and force me to put everyone in pink tutus and extremely tight underwear that would ride up our bottoms like nothing in the history of tight underwear.  It happens to every character who murders the author and takes over."

Upon hearing this Jessie whipped around facing S'rac with a large, murderous glare, "I DARE you to try it!" she snapped, fingers wrapped around a large frying pan which even Chi-Chi stared at with utmost respect.

"Never mind.  Drop that idea completely," S'rac told everyone rather quickly.

~*~

   Well, yet again our little heroes(?) escaped utter destruction and continued on their merry way through the zoo.

"I'm not sure staying in here any longer would be a very smart idea," Kitami remarked, "I mean, next thing we know we're going to let out a pride of lions on the poor innocent zoo folk."

"Good point.  You know, it's getting very repetitive for me to say that?" S'rac asked the all-mighty authoress who also happened to be the smartest, most beautiful, most athletic (Haha, that's a good one.), most talented authoress in the universe, she was also told that she was good at self-flattery because she was really only a bit above average in smartness, didn't look horrible but wasn't a beauty, had virtually no real athletic talent, and was only talented at the world's various arts.  In other words, just another average computer geek who managed to accomplish a new chapter for her fanfic.

"You dare question the almighty authoress?!" My voice boomed over the zoo's loudspeakers.  The next thing S'rac knew, he was chained to chair with a television in front of it, the TV had Barney on.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Screamed S'rac, "I'll be a good little pawn in this plotless fanfic, I swear I will!" he pleaded.

Since the almighty authoress was naturally, as she was perfect, a very merciful person she unchained S'rac and made the TV vanish.  She also realized this entire part of was virtually meaningless so she conferred with her staff (consisting of annoying little sister) and decided it was time to end the chapter.

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Whew!  sorry this actually took me until January 11 to finish but, ya know, whatcha gonna do about it?  I also think that this was my longest chapter yet (8 pages, usually it's only half that, yeah I know, a bit pathetic).  I'd like to receive a bit of CC (constructive criticism) from people though.  As you know, you're your own worst judge and I'd like to improve my writing.

Heero: Making an effort to improve something?  That's a first!

*Whaps Heero* Shaddup!  


	6. Heero Spazzes Out, OR J'dee and Reikon S...

Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!  *Runs into the room* I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time!  I've just been…ah, I dunno what I've been, but I obviously haven't updated o_O.

Heero: Well then don't annoy them with rambling!

Orange Cannibal-No, I will not change the story because if all us Vegeta fans were to suddenly stop obsessing then I wouldn't be satisfied with it, they wouldn't be satisfied with it, and other readers wouldn't be satisfied with it.

Disclaimer: Let's put it this way: I don't own anything in this fic that has an official site with a trademark on it.

            After our little road trip friends decided to leave the zoo (And were even paid $2,700 dollars to do so!  Hey, they had to get funded somehow), along with the new additions they had picked up in there, they piled into the abnormally large pink van.  Heero hopped into the driver's seat quickly.

            "Hey!" cried J'dee indignantly, coming up to the driver's seat, "I was going to drive!"

            Heero gave her a 'So?' look and began to rev up the engine.  J'dee sighed, realizing that this wasn't going anywhere, "Fine.  But I'm sitting next to you in front.  Don't forget, you're only 15!  And I have a license now!"

            "Where'd ya get that?" asked S'rac from the back.

            "Wouldn't you liked to know?" asked J'dee with a mischievous glint in her eye, getting into the seat next to Heero's.

            Meanwhile, in the back, the seating arrangement was as follows: In the three seats directly behind the front ones, were BG, Vegeta, and then Bulma.  In the four seats behind them where T-Sama, DA, Chibi Trunks, and Chibi Goten.  Behind them in five seats were TRF, Juunanagou, Alexandra, Gohan, and Chi-Chi (No doubt Gohan was forced to sit there).  And since this happens to be a really strange van that increases sort of like a pyramid the next row had six seats and their occupants where Kuno, S'rac, Juurokugo, Juuhachigou, Marron, and Krillin.  Behind that, in seven seats were Kitami, RJ, Reikon, Piccolo, Mirai Trunks, Familiar, and Inu Yasha.  In the eighth row was Yamcha, Goku, Orlando the Penguin Muse, and Perry (Puar's second cousin).  The van actually had ten rows and then the back where the ice cream was, but luckily it wasn't completely filled yet. (Yes, yes, crapload long description, don't hurt me _).

            The Rockets all walked up to the side of the van as well.  Juunana poked TRF and gave a rather loud 'A-hem'.

            "Oh right," said TRF sadly, "Sorry Rockets, you can't come along.  I wish you all back to your world," TRF finished, looking down sadly.  Of course, if she'd looked up, she would had seen them all grinning and laughing, and in the case of Jessie and James, hugging out of pure happiness as they were sent back.

            "Is everyone here?" asked Heero in a tone of voice that said he didn't really care if they were all there or not because he was leaving now.

            "Yeppers, I think so!" responded J'dee.

            "Good.  Bakas," muttered Heero as he backed out of the several parking spaces the large van had taken up.

            After they had been driving around twenty minutes, Yamcha turned around to get something from the ninth row.  When he turned around, his eyes we bulging with horror, "Guys?" he got no response, since everyone was entirely caught up in whatever they were currently doing, "Guys?!" he said again, this time with more urgency.

            J'dee turned around, "What is it Yammie-Chan?" The 'chan' was too much for Vegeta.  He just stopped himself from letting out a large guffaw, and reduced it down to a few snickers.

            Yamcha, however, ignored the 'chan' suffix, "Someone wrote in huge letters, 'THIS VAN WAS STOLEN.  CALL YOUR LOCAL POLICE IF YOU SEE IT.  THE OCCUPANTS ARE CRAZY, RABID CLOWNS' on the back of our van!

            Kitami looked merely insulted, "Crazy, rabid clowns?  I think not!"

            "Oooooh damn," muttered Bana.

            "Stupid zoo workers!  If I could, I would go back and beat them up!" said Kuno in an outraged voice.

            "And you could probably do a really good job of it, Kuno," said S'rac immediately.

            "What should we do?  We can't exactly pull over and start rubbing it off, people would get suspicious!" said RJ hysterically.

            "If they aren't already," said T-Sama gloomily.

            "Betcha they are.  Somebody probably already called, too," muttered DA darkly.

            J'dee turned to Heero, "Alright Mr. Genius, what to we do now?!"

            Heero stared at the road determinedly, "We'll need to take the back roads.  Will your Porsche follow us?" asked Heero glancing over to the side of the road where Jazz was.

            "Of course!  Jazz is smarter than the average Porsche!" chirped J'dee.

            "That's good to hear, because the average Porsche doesn't HAVE an IQ," muttered Heero.

            "Uh…where are these so-called 'back roads'"? Bulma inquired.

            Heero simply pointed to the cornfields on the right of the road.

            Bana wrinkled her nose, "_Cornfields_?"

            "You have a better plan?" snapped Heero.

            "The Porsche will get corn stains," murmured Juunana disappointedly.

            J'dee shrugged, but looked a little uncomfortable with the idea, "We can wash Jazz off.  You can help me, Juunana," she said suddenly grinning.

            "Damn it," whispered Alexandra to TRF, "We'll have to admit her into our secret Juunana cult too before she does something that goes outside the rules."

            TRF frowned, "Like doing something kinky with him that doesn't involve us?"

            Alexandra nodded sagely, "Yes.  That especially."

            "Oh well, it's still pretty exclusive."

            "Yeah."

            Heero suddenly threw them off-balance as he swerved into a cornfield.  Jazz did, indeed, follow them.

            TRF looked at the corn and shivered at all the tassels, "Oooh…it's detasseling all over again.  Stupid, evil job."

            "That you quit after five days," chimed in Heero.

            "Oh shut up, He-man.  Did I ask you what you thought?  And besides I still got money from it and used it to buy this baby among some other things," upon saying this, TRF took out the first Trigun DVD, "Oh yes, I love Vash, that I do."

            "From the way you just talked, I'd say you love Kenshin, too," said S'rac.

            "Jah, but he doesn't compare to Vash in all his glory."

            RJ looked out the window, "We _are _supposed to be running over the corn, right?"

            Heero nodded, "Well of course, if we went in a row, we wouldn't get anywhere."

            "Can we stop for me to eat some corn?" asked Goku hopefully.

            "No.  This is a risky enough mission as it is.  I cannot jeopardize it for your hunger needs," responded Heero enigmatically.

            "I would have stopped if I were driving," said J'dee nonchalantly.

            "See now why you aren't?" asked Heero with an obvious 'duh' in his voice.

            "Not really, I mean, you do know, He-chan, that we aren't really in any mortal danger?" asked J'dee raising in eyebrow.

            Heero gave her a steely glare, "Yes, we ARE in danger.  You just don't see it.  Everything that gets in our way, that is our enemy.  Even all of this corn is, because it is getting our way…IT MUST DIE!!!!!!" Heero's eyes suddenly bugled, his voice lost its normal enigmatic tone, and he pushed a button on the van that somehow summoned giant machine guns that shot at the corn.

            "Is this normal?" asked J'dee turning around to face TRF, noting Bana stroking Vegeta's spandex while he glanced at her with an annoyed expression on his face and Bulma looked ready to kill, as she looked back.

            "Umm…not really.  Not unless…" TRF suddenly stopped, "Fuck, we're doomed," she then began to cry and cling to Juunana.  J'dee deduced that the author wouldn't be much help.

            "Anyone else know anything about this?" she asked.

            "It could have some sort of thing to do with the Zero System," Reikon suggested.

            "He mastered that," said J'dee shaking her head.

            "Or so we thought," said Reikon suspiciously.

            "Hmmm…" J'dee put a hand on Heero's shoulder, "Heero, honey, I don't mean to sound offensive, but…have you done anything, anything just recently, that you don't normally do?" she asked gently.

            Heero turned to her with a crazed expression on his face, "Why do you want to know?  Why are you invading my privacy?  ARE YOU WITH THEM?!" he demanded, pointing to the shattered, broken corn around them.

            J'dee was more than freaked out, but tried to keep up a calm front, "No, no Heero, I hate them too, I just want to know…you're secret to discovering their evil plot."

            Heero stared at her with a soulless look, "I drank liquidized ZS2."

            "Er…forgive me, but what does that mean?"

            Heero twitched, "Stop asking questions, they're gaining on us, and they're angry we killed their comrades," he said as he once again gestured to the corn, which hadn't really changed at all.  He turned back to the controls and started firing the machine gun again.

            Bulma had finally reached her breaking point and reached across, just managing to pry Bana's hands from Vegeta, and Bana looked up front, "Woah.  What's wrong with our Heero, our new driver dude whom our life depends on right now?"

            "He drank liquidized ZS2, whatever the hell that is," said J'dee agitatedly.

            "Ok then, so we all get to die?" asked Bana mildly.

            "Looks like it," chirped T-Sama.

            "Ugh, I finally meet Skittles and now I'm going to die.  Just perfect.  Quorky get up here!  I want my muse to die at the same time as me!" she yelled.  Quorky sighed, but decided that since the fanfic couldn't possibly end so soon, he'd be just fine wherever he was and obeyed.

            "Jeez, out of one bad situation and into another," grumbled DA, "This bad luck just never ends for us persevering authors, does it?  Oh, and why don't we just knock him out?"

            "If we don't succeed the first time through, he's probably liable to kill us.  TRF seems to think so," said J'dee, gesturing to the still-sobbing TRF.

            "Well I'm not going to take death sitting down!" proclaimed Kuno, standing up.

            "Kuno can knock him out!" said S'rac confidently.

            "I was just finishing," said Kuno in an annoyed voice, "I won't take death sitting down, I'm going to take it _lying _down.  Move over, kid," he said ushering S'rac over closer to Juurokugo.  S'rac, stilling remembering the earlier, 'We're NOT sex machines?' comment by Juurokugo was rather reluctant to move any closer than he had to.  He hopped over the large android and fell onto Juuhachigou's lap by mistake.  To add to that, as he fell his hands had been in the air and when he fell onto Juuhachigou's lap, they ended up groping a…female-only spot.

            "Uh…hello ma'am?" he said, eyes wide as she brought her fist down onto his face, knocking him out and threw him in the back next to Goku, saying, "Take this kid, I think he's one of your fans."

            Reikon, meanwhile, groaned deeply at this whole affair and moved up to where TRF was, and began shaking her, "What does ZS2 stand for?!" she demanded.

            TRF sniffed, "Z-ze-zero…S-system 2…he's really cracked up now…" she began to sob again and Reikon, apparently satisfied that J'dee had a plan in mind now, sat back down.

            J'dee took a deep breath, "Ok now, Heero, what if I told you…that Relena was somewhere in here and your bullets might hit her?"

            Heero stopped suddenly, "I might…might hurt…Relena?"

            "Yes, and maybe you already did," said J'dee in a voice that mimicked graveness.  Heero's eyes rolled backwards and he fainted dead away.

            "Always works, playing the 'Relena' card always works," J'dee muttered to herself as she picked up Heero and put him in the passenger seat—purposely feeling a little of that firm Yuy bottom as she did so—and sat in the driver's seat.  She then looked behind her to see that it seemed no one except DA, T-Sama, Chi-Chi, Gohan, Reikon, and Piccolo had even noticed the crisis was over.

            "Attention!" she yelled, "Contrary to popular belief, we will NOT be dieing today, so if everyone could just calm down enough so that I can at least focus 50% on my driving, I think we can get going again!" she announced.  Everyone stopped to stare at her for what seemed like an eternity. 

            "Oh, okay," said Chibi Goten in a somewhat disappointed voice seeing as how he had been plotting with Chibi Trunks about dropping a bucket of piranhas on Heero's head.

            "Damn, I confessed all of those dirty thoughts I've ever had about Gohan for NOTHING?" said Kitami in a surprised voice.  Then she caught Chi-Chi glaring at her, "I mean…erm…all those dirty thoughts I've had about Johan…Johan von Snanzo…yeah, that's it."

            "I thought so," said Chi-Chi brandishing her frying pan.

            "I confessed them on paper," whispered RJ to Kitami, "I might be safer to do that next time," Kitami turned to look down and see exactly what kinds of dirty thoughts RJ had been having, but RJ suddenly starts ripping it into a thousand pieces and threw them around the van, "Confetti?" she offered weakly.

            Chi-Chi caught two pieces of the 'confetti' and held them side by side, "Gohan?  Wearing only a speedo?  WHO WROTE THESE?!" she demanded.

~*~

            Later on, J'dee pulled up to a broken down building with a broken neon sign that read, 'Bladua's Good Value Motel'.  This was just about the last place any one of them would have chosen to stay if it had been their choice, but when Heero had waken up (completely normal again), he insisted that they were probably wanted right now and they should go to a low-profile place.

            Bana groaned, "They better have good beds in this place, huh Skittles?" she said winking suggestively at Vegeta.

After Chapter AN: Ok, I know that some people have bothered me about being in this since the last chapter, but since it's been a pretty long time since that chapter, I want to make sure everyone who asked is still reading.  Also, after this chapter I don't want to put in any new people for a while, so if you want to be in it, submit it now.  Also, a slightly interesting fact is, this isn't at all how I'd planned this chapter.  We were supposed to get to the motel early on and spend the chapter there, but this fic seems to have a mind of its own o_O.  Oh well, that just means I have the next chapter planned already ^_^.

Until next time,

~TRF


	7. Illiteracy Really is Greater Among Minor...

AN: Well, whenever this actually gets up, just know that I had the best intentions in mind because I started this right after I got up chapter six ^_^.

Heero: It's not like that really counts for much, TRF.  You had this chapter planned; the last just…came up by itself.  *Mumbles* And I don't enjoy how I spazzed out in it.

Oh, but that was fun!  Anywho, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything trademarked, obviously.  But if any of you corporate bigshots out there want to sell me the rights, just name your price!

            Ok, in case you forgot from last time, our nice little group of road trip people had pulled into a completely cruddy low-profile motel called "Bladua's Good Value Motel".  This was only because Heero said they were probably wanted now, so pulling into a big, expensive Ramada Inn probably wasn't an option.

            "You know…" said J'dee as they started walking towards the front of the motel, "For some reason, I've been wondering what we'd be like in an alternate universe."

            Heero 'hmphed', "All of you are scary enough in this universe."

            "Agreed," said Quorky nodding.

            "Poor Porsche," said Juunana sighing as he looked at Jazz's corn stains.

            J'dee opened her mouth to once again offer to Juunana to help her clean up Jazz, but before she could, Alexandra and TRF—dressed oddly in long trench coats and dark sunglasses--pushed her over to the side.

            "So," whispered Alexandra in a mysterious voice, "we see you have your eyes on the android."

            "Well…duh," said J'dee rolling her eyes.

            "In that case, you must join our secret Juunana-worshipping organization," said TRF in an equally mysterious voice.

            "What's the catch?" asked J'dee shiftily.

            "There are certain rules you have to abide by…" said TRF officially, taking out a long piece of parchment with #129 rules written on it.

            J'dee's eyes bugged out, "When did you come up with all this?!" she asked, amazed.

            "The van.  Why?" asked Alexandra curiously, as though it was normal to be able to come up with #129 rules for worshipping an android during about a one hour and forty-five minute time period.

            "We're stilling working on finding another one to make it an even #130," TRF added.

            "Why do you want me to join?" asked J'dee suspiciously.

            "So you don't do anything kinky or sexual with him without us," said Alexandra as though it was obvious.

            "Ummm…" J'dee glanced at the list, "If I promise to clue you in on kinky and/or sexual stuff, can I be exempted from this?  I mean, obsessive cults are good and all as I would know since I covertly lead one for Yamcha fans, but some of these rules…yeesh…" she quoted the list, " 'Every 17th minute of every 17th hour on every 17th day of our lives, get out a picture of Juunanagou and begin to snog it.  Continue this for 17 more minutes'.  And that isn't even the most insane one," she shook her head, "And I'm really not up for human sacrifice.  Besides, I need to figure out how to convert Yamcha's name into numbers and add them together so I can do this for MY cult," with that she ran ahead to the rest of the group and jumped onto Yamcha's back before he could anticipate what was coming.

            "Mmmm…that didn't go as planned," TRF noted.

            "Nope.  Oh well.  She'll probably revert into a greedy fangirl and not tell us about the kinky/sexual things so she can have him for herself, but we'll eventually get Juu-Kun," said Alexandra optimistically.

            Hi.  It's the author here.  Why am I here, in the middle of the chapter, you ask?  Well, for the last few days I've been reading 'Daily Life' by AishaNi.  It's a Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic, which I recommend for fans of the show.  Anywho, AishaNi has the tendency to pop up in the middle of her fics like that, and I picked it up from her ^.^, I have a bad habit of picking things up from other authors.  You may or may not have noticed that by now.  Ok, so anywho, back to the fic.  I really just wanted to shamelessly advertise 'Daily Life' while it was fresh on my mind.  So go read it now!  No wait, not right now in the middle of reading this, come back!  I meant when you were done reading this!  *Pulls the readers back*

            When they got into the motel, the first thing everyone noticed was the dust that covered practically every inch of everything, including the man at the desk.  Speaking of the man at the desk, he was clearly very old, with many bald patches on his head.  What was left of his hair was white and hanging limply to his head.  His eyes were an odd silvery color and he gave them a toothless smile.

            "Welcome to Bladua's Good Value Motel.  I am Lestat Bladua, the owner of this motel since 1900."

            "Did your dad die the day you were born or something?" asked Bana, "And by the way, what _is _that disgusting musty smell that plagues this place?" she turned to look at Vegeta, and saw that the scent seemed to be irritating his sensitive Saiyan sense of smell,  "Whatever it is, could you air this place out or something?  You're hurting my Skittles!"

            Bladua cracked another toothless smile and gave a dry, wheeze-like laugh, "No, no my dear.  In 1900, I was fifty years old.  That was how old I was when my father died.  Oh, and the smell is must itself.  I'm afraid I can't quite do anything about it, I've become rather accustomed to it."  
            "Don't worry Skittles, the van had an air freshener, I can run out and get it later," Bana whispered.

            "Pew," said Goku, "That smell is sort of hurting my nose too," he observed.

            "Haha, Kakarot," said Bana dryly, "That's your problem."

            Heero stepped up in front of the man, "We'll just take one room for the girls and one for the boys," everyone gaped at him and gave him murderous glares, whether it be because they wanted to get some 'accidental' groping done (*Author casts a look in Reikon's direction*), or because they didn't like the prospect of being cooped up with so many other people, it was hard to tell.

            Then, suddenly, another figure walked in, wearing a mysterious cape with the hood covering the wearer's head.  The cloak was drenched from the rain outside.  A clap of thunder and a flash of lightening were seen/heard simultaneously.

            "Hey!" S'rac protested, "It wasn't raining when we came inside two minutes ago!"

            "Well a thunderstorm happened to start so I could make dramatic effect!" the author defended herself, materializing quickly, and then disappearing just as quickly.

            Everyone stared at the place where the author's after-image was beginning to disintegrate.

            "Wow…" said RJ slowly, "She's…only about eleven or twelve."

            "Did you get a good look at those glasses?" asked Kitami in a disbelieving voice.

            "Uh…you all could have just looked at me to tell that," mumbled TRF.

            "But you're a little taller, you have shorter hair, and no glasses!" yelled the mysterious figure, who I can exclusively reveal was actually an author named-*Car spontaneously rushes by and makes a loud noise so you can't hear the author's name*.

            "I happen to be the present state of the author!" said TRF proudly, "She just turns up in this fic how she looked when she started it."

            "I don't remember you looking different," said Vegeta scowling.   There was a murmur of agreement.

            "Yes, well, the plot bunnies make it so you think I always looked this way," responded TRF wisely.

            "Plot…bunnies…?" asked T-Sama.

            "Ah," said Bladua, "Plot bunnies actually control the world around us without our knowing it.  They can do many things," he finished sagely.

            Vegeta 'hmphed', "I refuse to believe some sort of bunny can do all of this without my noticing!  What proof do you have?"

            "Everything leads back to the Plot Bunnies," replied Bladua vaguely.  Then he passed out on the floor.

            "Is he…-" asked the caped person, before being cut off.

            DA ran over and checked for a pulse, "Not napping," she said, slightly panicky.

            "Are you sure?" asked Bulma, but then she too checked for a pulse and then bowed her head and shook it slightly.

            "We killed him," said Bana in awe.

            "No…" murmured Gohan, "It was the Plot Bunnies…"

            **Insert another, particularly menacing, flash of lightening**

            Everybody looked around with terror in their eyes, like in a really cliché horror flick.  You know, where they have really bad actors and they're just pretending to be terrified and-*Readers give author a murderous look*.  Ok, ok, I'll stop now.

            "Mmmm…so then, where do we sleep?" asked RJ perkily.

            "Uh…we're going to sleep in a motel where some guy just kicked the bucket?" asked Reikon.  The she turned to the silent caped person, "And who ARE you?!"

            The caped person slowly took off her hood, revealing a 16-year-old girl, she was looking at Piccolo in disbelief as she addressed them, "You guys can all just call me Chipolata…" she didn't even give them a glance as she walked over to Piccolo, bowed at his feet and took out gifts of gold, frankincense, and mir (Hah!  I'm a Catholic Christian and I doubt if I spelled 'mir' right, as in the stuff that was presented to baby Jesus.  And no offense to my fellow Catholics, what I wrote down about the gifts just popped into my head about five minutes ago o_O).

            Piccolo eyed her as though she was crazy, "What am I supposed to do with this?" he asked, gesturing to the gold, frankincense, and mir.

            "I dunno.  There just happened to be a thrift shop selling it about five miles down the road," responded Chipolata shrugging, "Oh by the way, could I have your autograph?" she asked hopefully.

            Piccolo stared at her.

            "Uh…yes or no?" she asked slowly.

            Piccolo stared again.  Then he burst away crying.

            "That's uncharacteristic," said Reikon with raised eyebrows.

            "I've never seen Mr. Piccolo act like that before," said Goten, wide-eyed.

            "Cover your eyes Goten, it's hideous!" yelled J'dee, covering her young muse's eyes.

            "I'm not even a Piccolo fan and I know he doesn't act like that," said DA slowly.  Then she took out a camera and snapped some pictures.

            Inu Yasha snorted, "He's just a big baby."

            "Sit boy," DA retorted under her breath.  Inu fell into the ground.

            "Piccolo…what's wrong?" asked Gohan, walking up to his large, green friend and patting him on the back.  Piccolo whispered something to Gohan and it seemed that only Goku and Vegeta could hear it otherwise, with their advanced, full-Saiyan hearing.  Vegeta started laughing.

            Goku sighed, "Poor Piccolo.  I didn't know you couldn't read or write.  I could've helped you."

            "GOKU!" screamed Piccolo, "WHY DO YOU THINK I ONLY WHISPERED IT!  I DIDN'T WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW!"

            "Besides Goku, you can't read or write either," muttered Chi-Chi, "Except for the words 'food', 'buffet', and your own name."  

            Vegeta continued laughing, "Kakarot and the Namek are illiterate!"

            This caused Goku to blush and Piccolo looked on the verge of sobbing again.  Bulma glared at her husband, "Oh don't worry," she announced loudly, "Vegeta can read English and Japanese well enough, but he couldn't write either if his life depended on it.  Except with a keyboard to form the letters FOR him, of course."

            "Onna!" yelled Vegeta at the top of his lungs.  Reikon would have laughed since she didn't like Vegeta and all, but she decided that since Piccolo was 100% illiterate, she couldn't really laugh at someone who couldn't write.

            Later on, after Piccolo had stopped sobbing and Chipolata and Reikon and enthusiastically offered to help him learn to read and write, S'rac and J'dee had offered to help Goku, and Bana, TRF, DA, and T-Sama had demand-er…told Vegeta they would help him write without a keyboard, they were setting up to stay the night in the creepy motel.  The anime guys had insisted that they would sooner die than share a room with any of the fangirls, and S'rac had just gone along with that, being the only 'real' guy there.  

            The girls (after much huffing and exasperated sighing when the guys expressed their want to be separated) had decided to set up two different rooms.  Unsurprisingly, Chi-Chi, Android #18 and Bulma were hard pressed to find roommates.  Surprisingly, Bana had agreed to sleep in the room they would be in.  Unsurprisingly, she did this with an extremely evil smirk on her face.

            The other gals caught the extremely evil smirk quickly, and soon they were all begging to be in that room, and it was soon decided that if the guys could survive with one room, they could too.

            At about 10:00 at night, Bulma sat reading a technical manual on a bed which she had painstakingly been able to claim as her own as the girls rushed into the room trying to get to one of only four beds to sleep on.  The room also had two bathrooms, and right now, one occupied Juuhachigou who was helping Marron brush her teeth, and the other contained Chi-Chi, who was taking a quick shower.  Bulma had no indication anything was wrong…the 'baka girls' as she called them, had been whispering for two hours now and nothing had gone wrong…yet.

            "Hiiiiiii Buuuulmaaaaa," said Bana in a forced sweet voice, walking up to Bulma's bed.

            Bulma put the manual down and turned to stare at her, "If this has something to do with my husband-"

            "No, no, no!" replied Bana frantically.  She gestured to DA behind her, "DA and I just wish to make peace.  We're extremely sorry for the trouble."

            "Yeah right.  What are you after?" asked Bulma suspiciously.

            "Truthfully…" began DA with a glazed expression on her face.

            "Wait.  Never mind.  I don't want to know."

            "Anyway," Bana said, patting Bulma's hand and trying hard not to cringe, "We want to say that we're sorry we couldn't get to know you better in this short time we've had with you."

            "What?!" screeched Bulma.

            "NOW!" yelled DA.

            Suddenly, before Bulma could react, T-Sama and TRF had jumped her, and all four girls took out masking tape which TRF used to tape Bulma's mouth shut, T-Sama used to tape her hands together, Bana used to tape her feet together, and DA used to tape her upper legs and arms together.  Then T-Sama took out a cloth that reeked of this stuff they use to make people pass out, and put it under Bulma's nose until she passed out (Duh), and TRF threw a net over the drugged woman.

            "Where are you putting her again?" asked Kitami, really only half interested.

            "The attic," replied T-Sama grinning.

            "Do you need any help hauling her up there?" asked J'dee getting up.

            "Sure," responded Bana.

            "Cool.  You know what they say.  Friends help friends move…" TRF began.

            "Real friends help friends move bodies," the rest of them chorused together.

            Meanwhile, in the room, Juuhachigou walked out of the bathroom with Marron, and Kitami and RJ hurriedly leapt up and ran into the bathroom she and Marron had been in a few minutes ago.

            Juuhachi looked around the room and then stared at Alexandra, Reikon, and Chipolata, "I'm afraid to ask, but where are Bulma and those other five girls?"

            In the bathroom, RJ and Kitami smiled evilly and cracked their knuckles simultaneously.

            "Ready?" asked RJ.

            "Never been readier," replied Kitami.  They walked over to the toilet and started flushing it.

            In the OTHER bathroom, Chi-Chi was taking a nice, relaxing shower.  Suddenly, the water turned colder.  Chi-Chi shrugged it off.  Then it started getting hotter.  Chi-Chi assumed she was just using the last of the hot water and this was causing it to fluctuate.  Then it got A LOT colder…Chi-Chi started shivering.  And suddenly…

            "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!" Chi-Chi shrieked as the water became steaming hot.  She raced out of the shower, barely taking the time to grab a towel to cover herself, and ran into the other room.

            "Eeeeeew…" groaned Alexandra, Reikon, and Chipolata.

            "Yeeeeeeeeees," said RJ and Kitami, high-fiving each other upon hearing Chi-Chi's shriek.

 Well, it's me again!  Oh, and for the next few chapters, I would like to introduce my replacement muse, Kurama!  *Applause*.  Heero is on muse probation for being an asshole and giving into a bribe Vegeta gave him, but mostly the latter.

Kurama: Hello.

Kurama's a MUCH better muse than Yuy boy!  *Glomps Kurama* 

Anywho…I decided that fic advertising is fun and good, so here's some fics I'm advertising in case anyone besides the people in it actually reads it now:

Daily Life, by AishaNi- I told you already, but this is GREAT fic if you're a fan of Yu Yu Hakusho.  It's about a girl named Kina, who's a classmate of Keiko and Yusuke, and she starts to get suspicious about them and sticks her nose into business that isn't hers.  One day when trailing them, she gets attacked and possessed by a demon and when the Spirit Detectives take her to Koenma and once she's been exorcized and wakes up, Koenma says he can't erase her memory because it would damage her too much mentally, and she becomes a Spirit Detective.  It's a great story because Kina is NO Mary Sue!  She's a character you can identify with on some level (Unless you're just like her bratty younger sister, Mikasu) and she doesn't become some 'almighty, wonderful powerful' person just by training for a few days.  I swear, this fic should be an official YYH OVA…Woah, you can tell I love this story way too much.  Look at how long I ranted about it ^_^.

Fox Child, by Dream Fox- Another YYH fic, but this one centers on the wonderful Kurama!  It's about his childhood in Minamino Shuichi's body, and his feelings of isolation from other humans.  I haven't read the whole thing yet, but so far it's excellent!

The Return, by J'dee- Ah, most of you probably know about this, but I'll summarize anyway.  In the original fic, Ain't Nothin' But Magick, a group of authors was transported to the DBZ world.  Hey, hey now!  Don't go making assumptions that this is your average fic!  It's interactive like my Ain't Nothin' But Miracles, meaning the authors all have to write their own pieces for it.  In the DBZ world, we forage bonds with the characters, fight new evil peoples, and let's just say not *all* the authors that came in were about to use their powers for *good*.  Well, nearly all of us got sent back at the end of it, but now some of us are baaaaaaaaack!  And this time I finally get my Juunana-Kun!  But now I can't have Skittles-Sama.  That ties in with how Heero is on muse probation…grr…but hey, it's a great fic to check out!  It may take you a long while to read, though o_O.

The Official Fanfiction University of Dragonball Z, by Bananagirl- Now, if you didn't know about TR, I'm nearly certain you'll know about OFUD!  It was one of the original fanfiction universities out there, and one of the best!  In it, people who write Dragonball Z fanfiction are sent to a university to learn to write better.  Nadia and Yoli, the two main characters are Vegeta fanatics and you just know that in and of itself is enough to make for some interesting scenarios (*Cough* Bribing Chibi Trunks for videos of his dad in the shower, anyone?).  I wish OFUD was a real place, but I should probably be happy enough with my little cameo in it ^_^.

Ja Ne, until the next update,

~TRF


	8. Groping Here We Come!

Well, I'm actually updating again!  The world must be coming to an end!  The…updates…they're…all…so…close…together…

Kurama: Or it could just be that Heero had you plan this chapter out a while ago.

Oh.  That too.

Disclaimer: I got lost on the way home from the next-door neighbor's house and I sold my disclaimer for a ride home, so nope, there's not one for this chapter.  *Lawyers approach*…but, I can improvise!  I don't own the DBZ characters, any other official characters, or any authors beside myself.

********************************************************************

"You know," remarked Reikon to Chipolata and Alexandra, "Everyone is up to some evil deed except us…"

            "What do you propose we do?" asked Alexandra, interested.

            "Well, I was kind of thinking we could break into the guys' room and grope whichever ones we like!" said Reikon, grinning from ear to ear.

            Chipolata began to grin too, "This is brilliant!  But the other girls will be so jealous if we go without them…" she mused, frowning slightly.  You see, after the bathroom incident, an extremely angry Chi-Chi had gone on a frying pan frenzy and chased Kitami and RJ out of the room.  Just before going they yelled something about meeting up with the others, but the three remaining girls feigned innocence as to where the others were.

            "That's their loss," murmured Alexandra, entirely caught up in images of feeling Juunana's bottom.

            "Agreed," said Reikon nodding rapidly.

            "Are we going now or what?" asked Chipolata, promptly standing up, her fingers itching with anticipation at what they were about to feel.

            "Yes!  I can't stand it much longer!" cried Reikon, also standing up.  Alexandra rapidly nodded and stood up with her.

            "I'll just pretend I never heard any of this," called Juuhachigou in a bored voice as they walked out the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "Where should we stuff her?" asked Bana, glancing around the large attic.

            "In that trunk, maybe?" suggested DA.

            "Nah, she'd suffocate.  We just want her to suffer, not suffocate," replied T-Sama.

            "Don't suffering and suffocating go hand in hand?" asked J'dee.

            TRF shrugged, "If we killed her, Vegeta would kill us because he just can't see the light that he's better off without her…"

            "…yet," Bana finished, "He'll come around."

            "It looks like there's a closet over there," said J'dee, pointing.

            T-Sama went to investigate it, "Yeesh, it's locked."

            "Are you sure?" asked DA.  She went over and yanked the handle, but unfortunately, she ended up pulling it off, "Uh…oops?" everyone groaned.

            "Stand aside mortals," called TRF dramatically.  She cleared a path to the closet door and ran straight into it.  Sadly, all she ended up doing was giving herself a bump on the head.  The door stayed obstinately shut, "Ouchies," moaned TRF as she held her head.  Everyone groaned again.

            "There isn't anything else in here that you can hide a person in!" said J'dee apprehensively.

            "There's still the trunk," responded DA, "If worst comes to worst I mean.  We can't exactly just set her free downstairs and pretend this never happened.  She'd never shut up about it, and Vegeta would skin us alive and hang our skins in his room to look at with satisfaction forever and ever."

            "I'd hope satisfaction follows when Skittles thinks about me," muttered Bana, "Not to mention a few other things…"

            Suddenly, Kitami and RJ came bounding into the attic, panting heavily, "What's up with you guys?" asked T-Sama.

            "C-Chi-Chi…evil…" whispered RJ indistinctly.

            "Trying to kill us…" murmured Kitami melodramatically.

            "And what's up with you?" asked RJ, suddenly perky again.

            "We can't find anywhere to hide the witch-bitch," said Bana, gesturing to the still-knocked out Bulma.

            "Tried the trunks? asked Kitami.

            "WE CAN'T DO THAT!" yelled the other five at once.

            "Touchy, touchy," muttered Kitami.

            "What about that closet?" said RJ.

            "DA broke the handle and we can't get it open," explained J'dee exasperatedly.

            RJ walked over to it and put her finger in the hole where the doorknob had once been and opened it from the inside, "What was so difficult about that?"

            J'dee, TRF, Bana, T-Sama, and DA fell over anime style with gigantic sweatdrops rolling down their heads.

            "Well let's put her in before she makes a ruckus," said Kitami picking up Bulma and throwing her roughly in the closet, shutting the door behind her, "Now let's move some of these trunks in front of the entrance.

            "Good thinking.  If she escaped, it wouldn't be a pretty sight," said Bana shuddering slightly, "An even worse sight than her face alone usually is, I mean," she added.

            After that, everyone grabbed one trunk and pushed it in front of the door, stacking a few on top of each other so she couldn't even see out.  Then, after checking to make sure that there was no conceivable way Bulma could get out, they walked triumphantly down to the door that led out of the attic…only to discover that it only opened from the outside.

            "Fucking hell!" snapped Bana.

            "What more can go wrong with this plan?" moaned DA.

            "Let's all charge it!" suggested T-Sama.

            TRF grabbed her head again where the bump was, "I tried to charge a door awhile ago.  It wasn't good."

            "It'd be better if we all did it at the same time," J'dee said.

            "We don't have anything else to do," Kitami said, nodding in affirmation of the charging-the-door plan.

            "On the count of three…" started T-Sama.

            "One…two…three…" they all counted, before ramming into the door.  It made a thud, but didn't budge.

            J'dee glared at the door, "Let's do this again…" she said to everyone else.

            "One…two…three…" thud.

            "We need to keep this up!" growled DA.

            "One…two…three…" thud.

            "Just keep going at it!" yelled RJ.

            "One…two…three…" thud.

            "It'll have to break sometime!" screamed TRF.

            "One…two…three…" thud.

            "We're fucking doomed," moaned Bana.  Everyone gave her a cold stare, "Er…I mean, once more!"

            "One…two…three…" thud.

            "Ok, we are doomed," agreed Kitami, slumping to the ground.  Every mumbled some form of agreement.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            But of course, not everyone was miserable…

            "Grab him Chipolata!" shouted Reikon as Piccolo ran for the door.  Chipolata jumped out of the shadows of the room and leaped on Piccolo's back.

            "Juuuuuunaaaaaaaanaaaa…" said Alexandra, sauntering over to the artificial human who was staring at her wide-eyed in the corner.  Everyone except Piccolo and Juunana had evacuated the room, terrified, when the three girls had burst in, "Come here, I won't hurt you…"

            Juunana whimpered.

            "I just wanna grab your bottom…is it so much to ask?" asked Alexandra with puppy dog eyes.

            Juunana started to rock back and forth slowly with wide-open eyes.  

            "Muahahaha!  We've got you now!" said Chipolata triumphantly.  She and Reikon had each put an arm around the terrified Namekian and were groping him with their free hands.

            "Ok, ok, I gave you plenty of warning, but you can't escape it any longer!" yelled Alexandra to Juunana.  Of course, seeing as how he was rather traumatized right now he gave no response, but this was ok with Alexandra.  It just gave her more time to grope him.

            "HELP!  HELP US!" the three girls and two captives heard from above them.

            "WHAT?" screamed Reikon.

            "HELP US!"

            "WHAT?" 

            "HELP US!!"

            "I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUUUUU!"

            "FUCKIN' HELP US!" screeched everyone from above.

            "Fine!  Where are you?" asked Reikon in a normal voice that was just loud enough for them to hear.

            "THE ATTIC, THE DOOR ONLY OPENS FROM THE OUTISDE!" they yelled back.

            "You don't have to yell, you know," replied Reikon.

            "I'll go get them.  Keep Piccolo here," said Chipolata seriously.

            Reikon nodded, "Wouldn't _dream _of letting him go," Piccolo glared at his two fans.

            Chipolata walked to the door that led into the attic, and was greeted by the sight of seven girls rubbing extremely sore throats, "Uh, hi there…" she said uncertainly.

            "You're our savior!" cried DA happily, "We thought we would rot up here with Bulma!"

            Chipolata looked around, "Where is Bulma?"

            "The closet over there.  But don't tell Skittles," replied Bana, putting a finger to her lips.

            "What were you guys doing in that room?" asked J'dee, "I know that our room isn't below the attic."

            "That's the guys' room.  Me, Reikon, and Alexandra captured Juunana and Piccolo and we were groping them," she explained, "Everyone else got away, though."

            "Mmmm…Juunana," murmured TRF with hearts and stars in her eyes.

            "Yeah.  We were going to stay in there with them in case the other guys got a bit too secure and thought it would be safe to come back.  Wanna stay with us?" everyone basically agreed.

            What'll we do now?" asked RJ, flopping down on one of the beds in guys' former room.  Piccolo and Juunana were tied up in the corner.

            "How about ghost stories?  Bet ya can't scare me!" said J'dee grinning.

************************************************************************

Ok, this chapter was really only a filler chapter to tie up the loose ends from the last one, but just to let you know…the next chapter won't feature ghost stories…it will feature something much scarier…something I've been planning to have happen for about seven months now…muhahahaha!  

Ok, and I need some suggestions on fics to advertise.  I saw a good one earlier, but I had to turn off the computer and I couldn't remember the title off the top of my head.  I could just advertise the same ones as the last chapter…but I figure that anyone who read this chapter read the last chapter, so I wouldn't really get anywhere o_O.  No wait!  I remember one now!

World So Cold, by IdentityThief- It's another YYH fic (Can you tell I've REALLY started liking YYH) and this one is about Hiei, our favorite little fire-demon-Vegeta-look-alike-and-act-alike-all-in-one.  Basically, it's Hiei torture, but this is a good Hiei torture fic!  Some evil humans kidnap Hiei (And they cut off his powers if you're wondering why he didn't just fry them and get away) and Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara along with a mercenary named Sintari (I think) have to go find him and bring him back, of course!  I feel so sorry for Hiei…*sobs*

And this next one is another YYH fic, but I can remember it because it's shameless self-advertising, damnit!  

Sayonara to Normality, by TRF-Chan (aka me)- Well, this is about Shishiwakamaru, you know, that pretty boy who was on Team Uraotogi in the Dark Tournament?  Yes him, don't look at me weird for writing about a pretty minor character at this point!   Ok, so, plot: Shishi is beat up by a bunch of demons who are mad because they had money bet of Team Uraotogi to win, and then the put his unconscious body in Ningenkai (The human world) where a 16-year-old girl named Chika Kurusu finds him.  As the summary says: Frying pans, mood swings, and evil, evil fangirls ahead!

Oooh and I remember another fic I read with Shishi included!

Make Life Worth It, by er…I can't remember off the top of my head, sorry- After the Dark Tournament, Jin, Touya, Rinku, Chuu, and of course, Shishi, are sharing a house when…Shishi's sister comes to stay!  if that hasn't convinced you, maybe the fact that Shishi is known as a playboy and his sister as a playbunny will!  And they both deny being a playboy/bunny!  It's hilarious!  

See ya at the next update!

~TRF


	9. Alternate Realities Are Scary

Oh yeah!  I should have 100% fun writing this chapter!  It was actually supposed to be chapter 7, but this fic has a nasty, nasty habit of writing itself out how IT wants to be written out, not always as I envision it O_o.   Aaaaaaaaah!!!  The fic's alive!!!!  *Runs*

Disclaimer: Disclaimer-O-Matic 4000 says, TRF does not own creamed cheese.

What?!

Disclaimer-O-Matic 4000 says, TRF does not own giraffes

Er…no I don't….

Disclaimer-O-Matic 4000 says, TRF does not own George W. Bush

Damn straight!  Like I'd want to own him!  But he's not even in this fic…

Disclaimer-O-Matic 4000 says, TRF does not own bouncy balls

*Blink* The fic has nothing to do with bouncy balls…

Disclaimer-O-Matic 4000 says, TRF does not own her soul

EXCUSE ME?!  If I don't own my soul, who does?!

Disclaimer-O-Matic 4000 says, TRF sells her soul like a prostitute sells her body

THE HELL?!  I DO NOT!  I HAVE NEVER SOLD MY SOUL!  *Kills the Disclaimer-O-Matic 4000* Stupid newfangled machines…gotta do this the old fashioned way…I do not own DBZ or any authors mentioned here.  Geez, how hard was that?

**********************************************************************************************

            "…And little Mary Sue and the author who created her never saw the light of day again," finished J'dee, staring at everyone with a satisfied smirk on her face when she saw the all looking at least slightly fearful.

            "Cool!  Anyone got another?" asked Bana, being the first to recover from the story.

            DA shook her head, then said, "Hey!  Why don't we all scream now?  Maybe that'll lure Vegeta and the other guys back in here!"

            RJ nodded, "Hopefully Gohan too!  Let's do it on the count of three.  One…two…three…" they all let out the most annoying, fearful, high-pitched screams they could muster.  The ceiling shook above them and suddenly a large chair flew through the door.  

            "It's the curse of the Mary Sues!" cried TRF, pointing to the chair, "It's come to claim us too!"

            Suddenly, Vegeta was standing near the hole that the chair had made, "Not quite," he growled.

            "SKITTLES!" yelled Bana running over to him.  DA, T-Sama, and TRF followed.

            "I'm here to tell you that you had all better shut up and go to bed now, or you won't live until morning," he rubbed his temple, "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

            "Is Yamcha asleep?" asked J'dee, suddenly very interested.

            "We were all asleep a moment ago before your screams woke us all," muttered Vegeta.  He glanced down the hall and saw Lestat Bladua coming down it, "See?  Your screams even woke the dead!"

            "We can resurrect people?  Neat!" said T-Sama with a grin.

            "Can you sleep with us, Skittles?" asked Bana, giving her best shot at the 'puppy dog eyes' look, "We just heard scary stories and we don't want to sleep alone."

            "How tragic," muttered Vegeta sarcastically.  He turned to DA, "Why don't you ask your dog-boy muse to sleep in here with you?  I swear he's been out to get me all day…"

            "Inuyasha…" snarled DA dangerously, even though she knew he couldn't hear her.

            "By the way, do any of you know where the onna is?  Nobody has seen her in awhile and your muse seems to think you probably would have had something to do with it," he pointed a finger towards Bana and gave her a suspicious glance.

            "No.  She ran out of the room screaming that the pink elephants were out to get her and we haven't seen her since," replied Bana, faking sincerity.

            "I don't buy that for one second, but I have plenty of time to look in the morning.  Now all of you GET TO SLEEP!" he shouted before stomping away.

            "That seemed like a pretty direct order," mumbled Chipolata.

            "Me and Chipolata are sleeping in the same bed as Piccolo!  Anyone else want to squeeze in?" asked Reikon.

            "I will!" cried T-Sama, "Besides liking Vegeta, I'm a Piccolo and Goku fan too!"

            "Since Vegeta isn't here, I'm with Juunana!" yelled TRF.

            "Me too!" responded J'dee and Alexandra at virtually the same time.

            Juunana and Piccolo looked extremely frightened.

            Later after everyone had settled down, and the author had decided she was too lazy to write exactly where everyone was, the plot (Dude!  We have a plot!  This is the greatest day of my life!) moved forward.  Everyone was asleep when the now-resurrected figure of Lestat Bladua crept through the hole in the door.

            "Make me talk about the Plot Bunnies and give me a heart attack, ay?" he muttered to himself, "Well I'm going to show them something that'll practically make THEM have a heart attack!" he sprinkled um…Magical Fairy Blood…yes, Magical Fairy Blood, all over everyone and walked out of the room.  He went to his own room in the attic and hopped into the trunk (Damn!  We should've put Bulma in there after all!) that he slept in and laughed so hard that he hyperventilated and died…again.

                        **_~Very Real Dream That Everyone is Sharing Because of the Magical Fairy Blood~_**

****

            TRF fell face first in the sand, and after spitting the sand out of her mouth, she looked up and saw all the other authors falling as well, "Where are we?" she asked as a few other people got up. 

            "I dunno," replied J'dee surveying the area, "but that looks like the Kame House," she pointed to a bright pink house in front of them.  

            "It says 'Bunny House' though," said S'rac staring at it closely.

            "And we're on an island in the middle of nowhere.  Fun," muttered Chipolata.

            Suddenly, out of nowhere, four extremely blonde (No offense to people who're blonde though) teenagers wearing hot pink came up to them, "Like, are you, totally all right?" asked the first one.

            Bana gave them a look of utmost disgust, "Who the hell are you?" she asked slowly.

            "WE'RE THE KAKAROT KLUB!" they all cried perkily at the same time.

            "S'cuse me while I go get sick," muttered DA.

            "Wait!  We need to, like, introduce ourselves before you go and do that, like, totally gross being sick thing!" said one of them grabbing DA's shoulder.  DA gave her a 'get the hell off of me' look.

            "Formation!" yelled another one.  They then struck a very Ginyu-like pose and gave cheerleader-like smiles.

            One of them leapt up and put her hands on her hips.  If you looked close enough, you could see her pulling on the material of her hot pink top to make her seem even more well endowed than she already looked, "I'm GBF!  Goku's Best Friend!  But it used to mean something else when I was a fan of Digimon!" she smiled. 

            TRF started shuddering and then yelled, "No!  I'm the one who had a name that meant something before and can mean another thing now!"

            Another hopped up to the front perkily, "I'm Light Angel!" 

            "It's too horrible to be true!" moaned DA.

            "I call myself G-Sama!" chirped another one.

            T-Sama covered her ears, "I like Goku, but this is ridiculous!"

            The fourth one leaped in front of the other three and did the splits perfectly, "You can all call me Strawberrygirl!" she declared.

            "THE EVILNESS!" proclaimed Bana.

            "Uh… think these people are yours to deal with.  We'll just be going now!" said Reikon rather quickly.  Everyone else followed suit and ran away leaving the four with their evil alternate-reality selves.

            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed TRF, DA, T-Sama, and Bana.

            "That was just freaky," muttered J'dee as they walked by the side of the house.  But unfortunately, she bumped into a woman with purple lipstick, purple fingernail and toe polish, and even purple hair.  She dressed in purple clothes, and her shirt had a picture of Freiza on the front.

            "Who are you?!" the woman demanded.  Then, out of thin air, she produced a Freiza doll and started 'conversing' with it, "What's that Freiza?  You think I should kill her, you do?  Yes, yes…I don't like her much either.  She bumped into me.  Very rude…very rude, wasn't it Freiza?  Yes, that's right, that's what we do to people that are rude like that.  Yes, she warranted that behavior, she warranted it very much…"

            "Uh…what's your name?" asked J'dee slowly, pronouncing every syllable carefully and loudly as if to tell the person before her, "I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU PSYCHO BITCH!".

            The person stared at her for a moment and then turned back to the Freiza doll, "The rude one just asked me for my name…how dare she ask Fay Dee for her name…?  She is very rude, very, very rude…"

            "Fay Dee?" asked J'dee looking a bit alarmed.

            Fay Dee gave her a shocked look, "How did you know my name?!" she turned to the Freiza doll once again, "This one knows Fay Dee's name…she is a spy…she has been spying on us Freiza…"

            "Well, ya know, we left Bana, TRF, T-Sama, and DA back there.  Gotta treat everyone equally!" yelped Chipolata, shooting J'dee a 'sorry' look before she and everyone else ran off.

            "TRAITORS!" screamed J'dee.

            As the rest of the group walked on, unsure of what they would encounter next, they came upon a girl with red circles of make-up on her face meditating behind the house.

            "Could you tell us where we are?" asked Chipolata, poking the girl.

            The girl got up slowly and looked at them with big eyes, "You are on Bunny House Island.  My real name matters not.  You can call me Choutzutina.  Why don't you stay with me as I meditate and bring myself closer to Choutzu, the Great One?"

            Reikon looked at Chipolata, "You were saying something earlier about not like Choutzu at all…guess this one's yours.  Sorry fellow Piccolo fan, but truth to tell, I don't like him much either and I'm not sticking around if I don't have to," everyone else nodded and dashed away.

            "YOU ALL SUCK!" screeched Chipolata as loudly as she could.

            On the other side of the house, they spotted two people arguing about who was better: The mushroom-headed guy from the Otherworld Tournament, or Yajirobe .

            "It's Yajirobe I tell you!  Now shut up before I hex you!" cried one, a girl who had black hair and eyes, a she pulled out a stick.

            "No!  How can you tell me that Yajirobe surpasses the greatness of my beloved mushroom-head?!  How?!  Are you evil?!" the other girl broke to the ground and started sobbing.

            The other one snarled, "Yes I'm evil you knave!  That's why I'm trying to perform a hex on you straight out of the pages of Harry Potter!" she was flicking the stick and muttering spells under her breath, trying to make them work.

            The remaining group turned to face RJ and Kitami, "Sorry," said S'rac, "Looks like your stop.  Have fun."

            "DAMN YOU!" hollered Kitami and RJ, as Kitami tried to help up her sobbing evil alternate-reality self, and RJ was trying to coax hers into giving her the stick.

            "Let's go inside the house," suggested Alexandra to her two only remaining author friends, Reikon and S'rac.

            Reikon nodded, "I think I might feel sorry for everyone we left behind if we didn't.  I'm hearing their tortured screams now."

            "Hey look!  The Kakarot Klub is trying to put make-up on T-Sama, DA, Bana, and TRF," observed S'rac calmly.

            "The poor dears.  I'll send the families fruit baskets if they don't live," muttered Reikon sarcastically as the three of them went inside.

            When they walked into the front room, they noted that all the lights were dimmed, except for a center spotlight focusing on a girl covered head-to-toe in green with black spots on it, "I see you've entered my lair.  Be chilled to the bone by its complete creepiness…" she said smiling evilly.  When her three guests didn't seem to be at all scared, she turned on several fans, "I SAID BE CHILLED TO THE BONE!" she shrieked.

            "Who are you, you evil creep who wears cell-colored clothes?" growled Alexandra.

            The girl gave her best evil laugh, but she wasn't all that good at it, "I'm Cell-Luver!  You'll pay for entering without my permission!  You see…you need to ask nicely from the window before you come in," she said, gesturing to the open window and frowning as though she might cry because the three of them hadn't 'asked nicely'.

            "Do forgive us for leaving you with her," murmured Reikon patting Alexandra on the shoulder before she and S'rac raced up the stairs behind Cell-Luver's back.

            "I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!" howled Alexandra angrily as Cell-Luver began to pull Cell merchandise out of the cupboards and throw it everywhere happily.

            In the next level of the house, every light was turned off, but S'rac and Reikon could just make out a figure huddled in a dark corner mumbling darkly.  Reikon flipped on a light, and the figure, which turned out to be a girl with hair wildly cut in a bunch of different lengths and bloodshot eyes turned and jumped on Reikon snarling.

            "Who are you that you DARE," lightening flashed as she said 'dare', S'rac clapped appreciatively, Reikon would have too, but her arms were being pinned down, "enter the room of Vegkon?" she asked in a raspy voice.

            Reikon shoved her off, "I'm Reikon, that's S'rac, and if we could help it, we wouldn't be in your stupid room filled with…" Reikon looked around and wrinkled her nose in displeasure, "Vegeta things."

            "What?  You are insulting the prince?!  You are INSULTING the PRINCE?!?!" cried Vegkon madly, "NOBODY INSULTS THE PRINCE WHILE I'M AROUND!" she grabbed Reikon again and tried to punch her, but Reikon dodged.

            "Who cares?  If I don't like him, I don't like him!  I'm entitled to an opinion, aren't I?" Reikon defended herself.

            "NOT WITH ME AROUND!"

            "Psycho.  And here I was thinking Fay Dee was insane," muttered Reikon.

            Vegkon stopped for a moment, "She is.  But that's not the point."

            "Nah.  Psycho!" yelled Reikon, hoping she could get the evil alternate-reality her to engage in verbal combat rather than psychical.

            "Vegeta-hating bitch!"

            "Insane asylum escapee!"

            "Cottage cheese!"

            "…"

            "…"

            "I think I'll go now," murmured S'rac to himself.

            When S'rac came to the room at the top of the house, he blinked in surprise as he saw an a midget of about 4'0 sitting in a large chair and giggling in a high-pitched voice, _'This is my evil alternate-reality self and the mastermind behind all this?' _thought S'rac disbelievingly.

            Then the midget noticed him and he started to pout, "Hey!  You weren't supposed to make it here!  The Grand Kai said you wouldn't!" whined the midget.

            "The Grand Kai?" asked S'rac.

            The midget rolled his eyes, "Duh.  I couldn't do this alone.  I had to have someone inwardly suggest to that DA girl that they all scream, which awoke Bladua, who wanted revenge on authors, and was able to sprinkle that stuff on you that brought your minds here."

            "Wow…I thought this was just a dream," muttered S'rac raising his eyebrows.

            "It sort of is.  But it's a game too!" cried the midget happily, "See, if you lose against me, then your minds will all be trapped here forever, but if you win, you can all go back to having normal dreams.  Fun, right?"

            "To some demented person, I guess," mumbled S'rac.

            "Hey!  You will address me only as the Beautiful Billy Bob Joe!" protested the midget.

            S'rac gave him a blank stare, before he broke out laughing.

            "Wait!  Don't laugh!  You can't find this funny!  It erases the whole-" but he was cut off.  Everything except the authors began to gradually blur away, starting with Billy Bob Joe and ending with all the scenery around them.

            "I'm a savior!" said S'rac with a large grin before he and the rest of the authors blacked out.

            **_                                                ~End Evil Dream Sequence~_**

****

            "Huh?!" yelped S'rac, leaping out of his bed in the room that all the guys (and the muses) were sharing, "Was that…a dream?"

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed the nine author girls waking up.

            "Don't ever mention strawberries to me, ever again," moaned Bana.

**********************************************************************************************

Wow.  That chapter was over 2,000 words long.  I'm amazed.  Anyway, I hope you like it, I was running out of humor a bit near the end, it felt like.  Anywho, to the two people who submitted forms to be in this, right now I'm not letting anyone else be in it, but I'll keep you guys in mind later on when I need new people if you keep reviewing to let me know you still read ^_^.  And also, my evil school starts the 26th and you know what that means…*Everyone groans* we go back the whenever-the-hell-I-can-find-time-for-it update schedule.  I'd hoped I'd have more chapters out by the start of this school year, but it turned out I had one event after the other this summer, and hopefully the next one won't be like that.  I will still do my best to update whenever possible though, and I hear this grade is easier than the last one!

See you at the next update!

~TRF


	10. Ugly Lime Green Jumpsuits?

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!  Bet you all missed me didn't you?  Yes, I know, I know.  *Smiles*

Heero: If you keep up this stupid self-glorification, they WON'T miss you the next time you can't update because of school.

Er…uh…*is daunted by that thought* well anywho, it's good to be back!  ^_^

Disclaimer: Him own DBZ *Points to Akira Toriyama* Me own this *point to story* Other authors own themselves…hopefully.

************************************************************************

            "Can we leave this stupid place?  Like, today?" asked RJ hopefully, "I'm scarred forever from last night, I swear."

            "We all are," muttered Bana distractedly as she rifled through Bladua's fridge and sent all the strawberries she found through a paper shredder (yes, a paper shredder).  There were quite a lot of them.  It appeared the old man had been rather infatuated with strawberries.

            J'dee was filling up buckets of water in the sink with Yamcha, "Not yet," she said, amid groans, "we need to wash that paint off the back of the van."

            "Unless you want us to get put in prison," added Yamcha.

            Reikon shrugged, "I've heard it can be a very enlightening experience," she glanced over at Bana, "hey, are you done with that shredder yet?  It has a date with some cottage cheese."

            Vegeta burst into the room looking horribly angry, "Ok, where the **hell **did you stick my wife?!" he demanded, grabbing TRF and T-Sama—who had been sitting at the table generally moaning about hunger—with one hand and Bana with the other.  The shredder went tumbling over and strawberry juice began to seep from it.

            J'dee paled considerably, "Er…I need to go take this water outside!" she announced, hurriedly dashing away.

            Yamcha glanced down at the sink, "Uh…J'dee you forgot to take the water with you!" but she was already out the door, "I wonder if she's feeling sick or something," pondered Yamcha.

            "We don't know what happened to your wife!" cried T-Sama, "Honestly!  Would I lie to you?!"

            Vegeta glared, "I don't even begin to think of you 'fangirls' as trustworthy beings where my wife is concerned."

            "Ouch," muttered TRF.  No one was quite sure whether she was referring to Vegeta's grip on her arm or the insult he'd just delivered.

            Suddenly, Quorky walked into the kitchen, a loud yawn escaping his lips, "Quorky!" yelled Bana, "Help me!"

            Quorky walked up to Vegeta, took out a clipboard and a pencil, and put on reading glasses, "Excuse me, sir, but you are in violation of code 123 of the Author Protection-"

            "I DON'T REALLY CARE!" Vegeta shouted, "Your little author here and her friends kidnapped my wife and-"

            "YOU DID _WHAT_?!" yelled Quorky, giving Bana a smoldering look, "How could you kidnap Beauty and-"

            "I DIDN'T DO IT!  REALLY!" wailed Bana.

            "LIAR!" shrieked Quorky.

            S'rac walked in and raised an eyebrow, "Uh…I forgot…the one thing…I needed to do upstairs…" he said, slowly walking away towards the basement.

            Yamcha walked up to the enraged Saiyan, "Come on now Vegeta.  Maybe they didn't have anything to do with it.  That Bladua guy looked pretty suspicious when he rose from the dead last night if you ask me."

            Vegeta's arms shook as though he knew he should let go, but didn't want to, "Fine, human," he stuttered out finally, throwing all three girls into the strawberry juice, "but if I find out one incriminating fact about your involvement in this, there _will _be punishment," he saw the girls lick their lips, "NOT THAT KIND OF PUNISHMENT!" he roared, stalking away.

            At that moment, DA walked in, "Hey guys, what did I miss?" she asked innocently.

~*~

            "Alright, let's go over this again," announced Gohan loudly.  The whole crew of Road Trip except Chi-Chi and Videl (who were allegedly 'preparing lunch' inside) was outside wearing ugly lime green jumpsuits provided by Juurokugo (no one knew where he got them, and no one wanted to ask either), "when I say go, you will take a bucket of soapy water and a mop and scrub the words off of the back of the van.  Which way do you scrub again?" he asked, as though speaking to five-year-olds.

            "Up and down," everyone grumbled in a bored voice; this was the thirteenth time Gohan had taken it upon himself to explain this abysmally simple task.

            "Good," he said slowly.

            "What will you be doing while we scrub?" asked Chipolata.  Gohan was the only one without an ugly lime green jumpsuit.

            Gohan sweatdropped, "Well…never you mind, young Chipolata," he said whilst feigning a smile.

            "Hey!  I'm 17!  I demand to be treated like an adult!" she protested.

            Alexandra blinked, "Nooo…_he's_ 17," he said pointing to Juunana.

            "But what I meant was…ergh!  Never mind!" snapped Chipolata, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

            "Odd, huh Juunana?" whispered Alexandra.

            Juunana rolled his eyes, "Not as odd as some other things I can think of," he muttered, giving her a pointed look.

            "Really?  Do you mean TRF?  Yeah, she's a bit nutty at times, isn't she?" replied Alexandra naively.

            Juunana sighed and got to work on the van.  He decided to stand near Vegeta who was ranting to Quorky and anyone else who would listen about what he would do once he found evidence that four certain girls were responsible for the disappearance of Bulma.  He saw J'dee listening and noticed that she was rather pale.  He wondered if she was sick.

            "What do we do if Vegeta figures out it was us?" asked T-Sama in a hushed whisper.

            "What was that I heard from over there?" asked Vegeta in a loud voice.

            "It was…I wonder if Velveeta would taste good to us?" DA supplied unsurely.

            Quorky snarled, "Oh _was _it?!" he barked, looking at Bana with utmost suspicion.

            "Woah, Quorky dude, chill!  It wasn't us!" Bana pleaded to her muse.  She let a tear or two slip from her eye, "I'm so hurt you'd even think that…after all we've been through…" she sniffled.  Quorky's eyes softened (he must not have been aware that she had a cold!).

            "O-ok…I'm sorry.  I guess it was really unfair of me to just judge you like that…" he murmured guiltily.

            "Damn straight it was!" shouted Bana, taking her mop and whacking Quorky.

            "You little…" he grumbled.

            Suddenly, Gohan blew a whistle, "Bananagirl!  I'd expect a teenager to know better than that!  Go sit under that tree and cogitate on your actions!"

            Bana stared, "Eh…what does 'cogitate'-"

            "IT MEANS 'THINK ABOUT'!" yelled Gohan, "Now get under that tree little missy!" he blew his whistle again.  Then twice more for good measure.

            "Stupid…asshole…Kaka-brat…" mumbled Bana indistinctly as she went to sit under a large oak tree.

                                                                        ~*~

            "What have we been doing this whole chapter?" asked Kitami, "I mean, we Gohan fans haven't had one single line!"

            "Yu-huh," RJ protested, "I had the first line of the chapter."

            Kitami fumed, "But what about me?!  I demand to see the author!  I demand-"

            The author's voice boomed from the sky, "I'm writing you in right now.  Be grateful!  I've become a bit rusty at this."

            Kitami nodded, "So I see.  Oh well, you're forgiven."

            "Thank 'ee kindly."

            "Don't mention it."

                                                                        ~*~

            Goten looked up at the sky, "Hey author lady!  Me an' Trunks an' Marron haven't had any lines either!"

            "Oh shove it you whining brats, that got old two lines ago."

            Thunder sporadically came down from the clear, sunny sky and hit the three offending children.

                                                                        ~*~

            "Ugh, thank god we're done with that," muttered Reikon tiredly to Piccolo who was thinking that perhaps he had trained Gohan a bit *too* well.  Lime green jumpers did not suit the Namekian.  Not at all.  He shuddered at the thought of them.

            "Hey!  Just what do you think you're doing?" Videl snapped as TRF took a sandwich from the counter and proceeded to bite into it.

            "What does it look like?" sneered TRF.

            "Since when did you get here anyway?" asked Kitami, voice laced with dislike.  She'd been so close to winning Gohan's heart!  So close!  But now Videl was here…

            Videl gave her a dirty look; Chi-Chi had told her all about the two trouble-making Gohan fans, "Since I decided my boyfriend needed a swift reprieve of you and your friend RJ as company!  Get out, you authors—except S'rac—are eating in another room!" 

            S'rac smiled, but it quickly slipped off his face as the others gave him their most potent glares, "Well what can I say?  It pays not to stalk your favorite character," he smiled pleasantly at Goku, who smiled back.  Nobody noticed that he'd handcuffed Kuno to himself, which was the only reason the martial artist was standing so close to he and Goku.  

                                                                        ~*~

            "How can she just come marching in here and order us around?!" ranted J'dee, "It's not right!  And I wasn't even really stalking Gohan!  I also thought she was pretty cool character!"

            "Until now you mean?" asked Chipolata.

            "Basically," agreed J'dee.

            "Let's cook up an overly exaggerated scheme to make her leave!" cried DA.

            "Yeah!" everyone replied enthusiastically.

            "How about we lock her with Bulma?" suggested TRF.

            T-Sama shook her head, "Nah, it'll be too boring for the readers.  We've been there, done that."

            "True, true," said TRF nodding.

            Alexandra looked around, "Where's Bana?  She seems to come up with good ideas."

                                                                        ~*~

            "Can someone let this fucking forcefield down by any chance?" shouted Bana from outside.  It turned out that Gohan had put a forcefield around the large oak tree to prevent those he sent there from escaping. 

                                                                        ~*~

            "Uh…there she is…" said Reikon, pointing.

            "Holy…I bet Gohan meant for that to happen!" accused Chipolata.

            "My Gohan is a sweetie, he'd never do that!" snapped RJ.

            "Oh yeah, he's so sweet that he had us doing menial labor out there whilst he shouted at us," retorted T-Sama sarcastically.

            "Are you insulting him?!" growled Kitami in a deadly, low voice.

            "Why yes, I believe I am," replied T-Sama curtly.  Kitami let out a battle cry and lunged for the Vegeta fan as RJ went for Chipolata.

            "I'm going to go check on Inuyasha.  He's been oddly complacent this chapter and it's worrying me," announced DA walking into the kitchen.

            J'dee glanced at TRF, Reikon, and Alexandra, "Let's go get her out of that forcefield," she said, rolling up her sleeves and taking out a toolbox.

************************************************************************

Heh, was that ok?  I feel slightly awkward coming back to write something that I (regrettably) haven't updated since August.  And to those Road Trip hopefuls, just keep reviewing and when I want new people to be in it, I'll send you an e-mail (so make sure to leave your addy) and ask if you're still interested.

Anywho, until the next update,

~TRF


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